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The Gimmes

4/7/2011

20 Comments

 
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I have a daughter and two sons, leaving me forever baffled by how three very distinct individuals could have sprung from the loins of the same two people. Take money, for instance. Two of my kids are savers and one is a spender. In fact, if the spender were down to his last quarter and saw a gumball machine, he’d be flat busted broke before you could say "Rain-Blo"

Anyway, I’m different from most folks in that I don’t mind having kids who constantly want things. Truth be told, I kind of like it. A kid who wants something that requires money is the first to clean the bathroom for a buck. What I can’t stand are kids who want something for nothing. They've got to be willing to work for it. I'm a nice person, but why should I have to shell out my dough to feed someone else’s iTunes obsession?

Sure, my kids get birthday and Christmas presents. New school clothes? Not a problem. They get special treats on other occasions, but many of their wants go unmet. That is, of course, unless they buy it themselves. Gotta love that motivation. There’s nothing like seeing your kid work hard to earn something that they want.

Just this week, one of my savers finally salted away enough money to buy something they really wanted. I won’t say how much it was. Just know it took them over a year, so we’re talking major bucks. Would I have spent that much for the item in question? Honestly, no I wouldn't. But it’s wasn’t my money. They'd earned it themselves. They had the right to spend it.

I guess what I’m saying is that, in my book, you shouldn’t feel greedy if you really want something you don’t need, even if it’s really expensive. Just make sure you’re willing to do the work to get it. And make sure you’re willing to do without the other things that same money could buy. That’s what adults do and the sooner you learn that, the better off you will be.

That's it. Now go wash the windows or something.

20 Comments
nothingprofound link
4/7/2011 01:28:55 pm

Frankly, I was always very generous with my daughter, and bought her whatever she asked for within reason. I never required that she earn it by doing chores, etc. Now she's working and spends her money liberally on whatever she wishes, and feels quite proud of herself. i do still help out with certain things, car repairs, insurance, that sort of stuff, because i know those expenses still exceed her income.

Reply
Jeremy from We Took The Bait link
4/7/2011 01:39:01 pm

If I salted away money for a year, I might be able to afford the aforementioned Rain-Blo gum.

Hopefully, in five years or so, I'll be able to put aside enough for a Snickers bar.

Fingers crossed....

Reply
AJ link
4/7/2011 04:03:46 pm

"I guess what I’m saying is that, in my book, you shouldn’t fee greedy if you really want something you don’t need, even if it’s really expensive. Just make sure you’re willing to do the work to get it. And make sure you’re willing to do without the other things that same money could buy. That’s what adults do and the sooner you learn that, the better off you will be."

You sound so much like my own mommy hahaha

Reply
Mom link
4/7/2011 10:26:39 pm

nothingprofound,
That's one way to do it. I grew up differently. I worked A LOT, and my parents recognized that. Boy, I sure learned the value of a dollar and making my own money sure felt good.

Jeremy,
Mmmm. A Snickers bar. I'll be crossing my fingers for you. ;)

AJ,
Someday I've got to meet your mom. She sounds like one cool chick.

Reply
SprigBlossoms link
4/7/2011 11:56:26 pm

I think the value of money is important as it teaches us how hard we need to work to bring it in....its definitely an understanding that we must appreciate as a family, agreed : )

Reply
Mom link
4/8/2011 12:09:26 am

SprigBlossoms,
I agree. It's important to learn the value of money, whether you like to spend it or not.

Reply
zobop republic link
4/8/2011 02:06:19 am

We've all been turned out & into ProSumers (professional consumers). Spend, spend, spend. We will learn the hard way to learn to save money. And that's sad!

Reply
Mom link
4/8/2011 05:10:07 am

zobop,

Ain't it the truth! How many advertisments are we hit with a day? Gotta be in thousands. Maybe that's why I make my kids work for stuff now. I want them to have discipline before they get their first credit card. Dang, can those get you into trouble!

Reply
Deray
4/8/2011 07:48:29 am

I learned the value of money at an early age. My Dad passed away when I was 7y old. I'm the youngest of 6 kids, so my mom didn't have it easy. Everything I own I have worked to get it. I think it's awesome that you teach those values to your kids. They'll be better off fending for themselves ;-)

Reply
Mom link
4/8/2011 10:02:36 am

Deray,
As glad as I am to hear you're fiscally responsible, boy, I'm so sorry to hear about your father. There's learning the hard way and learning the REALLY hard way. I want to give you a hug.

*HUG*

Reply
Deray
4/8/2011 10:17:25 am

Awwww thanks Mom! a hug is always appreciated ;-)

Reply
Justus Steel link
4/9/2011 01:52:00 am

That's awesome that you have managed to pass onto your children good habits. So many in the world today, and not just the kids, these kids are turning into adults, just want what they want, when they want it. And for nothing. And they aren't happy without it. It's becoming a gimme society. Too many that I meet love things and use people. I do the best I can to love people, and use things. Great post.

Reply
TJ Lubrano link
4/9/2011 02:16:55 am

Hello hello!

Almost forgot to comment on your post!
I was brought up pretty strict and my parents bought the things we needed but if we wanted more, we had to work for it. I didn’t ask for a lot of stuff either as I was happy with what I had. It wasn’t until I started to work myself, around 15 years old, that I got things for myself, but even then I didn’t buy a lot haha. Have to say, that my parents did softened up with my youngest sister & brother and they got away with quite a lot!

I'm glad that I know that things aren't that easy in life when it comes to money!

Love this post!

Reply
Mom link
4/9/2011 02:27:08 am

Justus,
Ooh. Love the 'love things, use people' comment. A lot of people really do have it backwards these days. Excellent point.

TJ,
So glad you came back! Sounds like a similar story to mine, including the part about the younger kids getting away with more. The youngest in our family got away with a little more than me and my other sibling. I'm sure the paid a different sort of price for that, though...or maybe not. It is what it is.

Reply
timethief link
4/9/2011 07:12:12 am

I think that learning how to manage money is an important skill that every parent ought to be teaching thier children. I also don't think parents should "bail their kids out" by forwarding them any funds when they make bad decisions.

Reply
Mom link
4/9/2011 08:56:51 am

timethief,
It is an important skill. As for a bailout? I'm torn. If one of my kids, new to credit cards, got in a jam I might help them. Just the first time and they'd have to negotiate a payment plan back to me with interest. I've known folks who've made one bad decision and found it so hard to get out from under it. If, however, it would happen again? Sorry charlie.

Reply
Jay.me
4/9/2011 02:29:57 pm

Hi Janene,
I agree with you that it's important to teach kids sensible financial habits.
--It takes some effort to maintain a balanced budget, even for some adults in our consumer driven society.

Reply
Mom link
4/10/2011 12:14:47 am

Jay.me,
I think it grows harder every year. Kids today have to be a lot savvier these days. There are so many more opportunities to buy...and dig yourself into a hole.

Reply
PhotoDiction link
4/11/2011 10:22:44 pm

I'm lucky in that all my children seemed to have acquired the idea that you work for what you get. And yes, they too have saved and bought frivolous things, but they learned a lot from the experience.
I have to confess that I do tend to also buy them the odd item that I know they would like - and have always done so from when they were little and at home through to now when they are living on their own. I guess it's one way to tell them that I appreciate them. But only one way :)

Reply
Mom link
4/11/2011 11:29:28 pm

PhotoDiction,
You're right -- you are lucky! And I see nothing wrong with treating them now and then, as longs they don't depend on your generosity. I agree, it can be a sweet way to display affection.

Reply



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