Category: Action Figure Jesus

Miracles do exist

3/7/2014

While shopping in Target, I was reminded how we live in a new age full of science and technology. That caused me to wonder, do miracles still exist -- you know, the old-school kind? We don't hear about them much anymore.

Well, low and behold, something happened last weekend that re-ignited my faith. My husband actually got rid of The Shirt. You heard me. I'm serious. He really did! Okay, so actually he just committed himself to getting rid of it. Right now it's still in his dresser drawer. The Shirt is right below its replacement-- make that replacements. Yep. He got two. Not only did he buy a new Indiana University shirt but an IU sweatshirt, as well, I think I've been scammed. No, I know I've been scammed. Lucky for him, he got something for me, too:

Can you see it? It's the mother of God in all her glory on a piece of toast! That's right. Miracles DO still exist! Not only that, you can buy them at a novelty store near you. Unfortunately, there is one slight caveat. Just read the fine print at the bottom.

That's right. Only adults can perform miracles. Sorry, kids aged 21 and below.

Anyway, this whole miracle business made me realize it's been awhile since I've hung out with Action Figure Jesus. So I took him to the kitchen and decided to have a little fun playing Sink or Swim. I filled up a bowl of water and tossed him in -- at least that's what I tried to do. But he was on to me from the get-go. Serves me right. Another slam dunk for Action Figure Jesus -- or, rather, a slam no-dunk.

Now that's my kind of miracle. Thank you, Action Figure Jesus! Anyway, now I'm on the look out for miracles. Let me know if you find one.

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Just letting off some crazy steam

3/2/2013

16 Comments

This book will be mine. MINE!

It has been said that just because you can watch 16 episodes of Parks & Recreation back to back, doesn't mean you should. Well, I'm here to say I think that's caca. To maintain my sanity (which is hard), I find it necessary to take a day off once in a while. Yesterday was one of those days. Though some may say my day off had to do more with my P&R obsession than my need for a sanity break, all I can say is the first step in dealing with a problem is recognizing that you have one. I'm not ready to do that yet.

Plus I did do a couple other things on my day off, like carving out time to perfect my whistling lips beat box skills. If you think I'm joking, ask my family. They will nod in acknowledgement, then bow their heads in shame.

I am posting this picture in protest of the "look how cute I am" photomania currently on Facebook. I call this "look at how moronic I am." No extra charge for the fly away hair and dark circles under the eyes.

I also coaxed my Action Figure Jesus into turning water into wine. I have to say, he outdid himself. Instead of a standard table wine, he produced a savory full-bodied cabernet with soft vanilla undertones. Yum.

Then to continue the magic, I let my dragon finger puppet friend, Steve, help me type this post. (My index finger had a boo boo and typing hurt. Boy. Such a good friend, that Steve.)

Steve was rescued from the $1 bin at IKEA. The thought of him languishing in a landfill made me cry.

And now I feel much better. Sure, I'm still a little crazy but you knew that already. If you have a sec, tell me what do you do to blow off steam. I'd love to hear it.

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I went to Seattle and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

8/1/2012

23 Comments

I just got home from a two week vacation and I just can't wait to sleep with my husband. Get your mind out of the gutter. What I mean is I've been sleeping with a twitchy kid in my bed for fourteen days straight.

When we stay at a hotel, the kids hate sharing beds with each other. They say, "It's gross." They also seem to 'accidentally' elbow each other in the jaw, so we don't mind separating them.
Still, what that usally means for me are nights filled with errant kicks and blanket tug-of-wars. It has turned me into one tired pup, which is why there won't be much writing in this post.

Instead, I've decided to share some of the unecessary junk we crammed into our suitcases. No trip is complete without a nail-biting scene at the airline counter where you worry whether or not your suitcase is too heavy.

So here I go. Below is a list of the ridiculous stuff we bought. May it shock and awe you.

To start, here's a cute button I just had to have...

One of my sons found a cute button , too. Unfortunately, we had to take it away from him because he poked his brother with the pin in the back. And, no, the irony is not lost on me.

A cute wristlet I found...

You can take the girl out of Iowa, but you can't take Iowa out of the girl.

My absolute favorite find: Action Figure Jesus!

I have to say, he has already come in handy. Just look what he did as soon as we got home!

Though we could have just eaten these instead...

That's right -- "All Natural!"

We got a few t-shirts, as well. This has to be my favorite:

In case you can't read this it says, "Confidence is the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation."

And, finally, let me share this goofy little thing we found in the Microsoft gift shop. Just squeeze the cow's belly and the foam ball shoots out of its mouth. How's that for awesome? If only I could find a way to demonstrate. Hmmm....