Last night I went to the Establishment Theater in Rock Island, Illinois to watch their Comedy Sportz show. What a blast. In it, two improv teams competed for points and laughs by playing a series of silly games. One competition I immediately loved.
Called "The Garth Game," it's based on a character from a recurring Saturday Night Live sketch about a public-access cable TV show called Wayne's World. Hosted by metal heads Wayne Campbell (Mike Meyers) and Garth Algar (Dana Carvey), the "show" was absolutely hilarious. So in 1992 they made a movie, also called Wayne's World. If you'd like a taste of its awesomeness just click on the video below.
Called "The Garth Game," it's based on a character from a recurring Saturday Night Live sketch about a public-access cable TV show called Wayne's World. Hosted by metal heads Wayne Campbell (Mike Meyers) and Garth Algar (Dana Carvey), the "show" was absolutely hilarious. So in 1992 they made a movie, also called Wayne's World. If you'd like a taste of its awesomeness just click on the video below.
Anyway, in the movie Garth describes a girl by saying, "If she were a president, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln" (instead of Abraham Lincoln. Get it?) The two Comedy Sportz teams ran with the joke, choosing a famous person and seeing which team could make up the most silly/rhymy references.
It was so much fun to watch I thought I'd try out the game, myself. My subject: None other than June Cleaver, the iconic wear-pearls-while washing-the-dishes mother played by Barbara Billingsley on the old TV show, Leave it to Beaver. Here's what I came up with. (And yes, I know I just dangled a preposition but I don't care, as evidenced by my starting this sentence with the word "and." Plus "rhymy" isn't a real word but I thought it sounded cool so I used it anyway. I'm such a rebel.)
It was so much fun to watch I thought I'd try out the game, myself. My subject: None other than June Cleaver, the iconic wear-pearls-while washing-the-dishes mother played by Barbara Billingsley on the old TV show, Leave it to Beaver. Here's what I came up with. (And yes, I know I just dangled a preposition but I don't care, as evidenced by my starting this sentence with the word "and." Plus "rhymy" isn't a real word but I thought it sounded cool so I used it anyway. I'm such a rebel.)
The Garth Game: June Cleaver
"And here's Dad and I back in our biker days..." If she were a housewife who took bubble baths all day, she'd be Prune Cleaver.
If she was a 300 pound body guard for a mafia crime boss, she'd be Goon Cleaver.
If she lived on a harsh desert planet thousands of years in the future, she'd be Dune Cleaver.
If she had a red butt and lived in the Ape House at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo, she'd be Baboon Cleaver.
If she was an animated character who hung out with Bugs Bunny, she'd be Cartoon Cleaver.
If she were a retired marshal who dealt with a convict returning to town to kill him, she'd be High Noon Cleaver.
If her white blood cells mistakenly attack and destroy healthy body tissue, she'd be Autoimmune Cleaver.
If she was an elementary school piano recital groupie, she'd be Au Clair De La Lune Cleaver.
If she was an astronaut preparing for a mission to outer space while listening to Pink Floyd, she'd be Going to the Dark Side of the Moon Cleaver.
If she sat at the computer creating imaginary theme parks all day, she'd be Roller Coaster Tycoon Cleaver.
If she tried to sign up for government health insurance over the last couple weeks, she'd be I Just Wasted an Afternoon Cleaver.
If she was a fourteen year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert, she'd be Oh Lord She is Starting to Swoon Cleaver.
If she shot a video of herself naked on a wrecking ball, she'd be Let's Just Be Done With It and Send Her To Cancun Cleaver.
If she was a 300 pound body guard for a mafia crime boss, she'd be Goon Cleaver.
If she lived on a harsh desert planet thousands of years in the future, she'd be Dune Cleaver.
If she had a red butt and lived in the Ape House at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo, she'd be Baboon Cleaver.
If she was an animated character who hung out with Bugs Bunny, she'd be Cartoon Cleaver.
If she were a retired marshal who dealt with a convict returning to town to kill him, she'd be High Noon Cleaver.
If her white blood cells mistakenly attack and destroy healthy body tissue, she'd be Autoimmune Cleaver.
If she was an elementary school piano recital groupie, she'd be Au Clair De La Lune Cleaver.
If she was an astronaut preparing for a mission to outer space while listening to Pink Floyd, she'd be Going to the Dark Side of the Moon Cleaver.
If she sat at the computer creating imaginary theme parks all day, she'd be Roller Coaster Tycoon Cleaver.
If she tried to sign up for government health insurance over the last couple weeks, she'd be I Just Wasted an Afternoon Cleaver.
If she was a fourteen year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert, she'd be Oh Lord She is Starting to Swoon Cleaver.
If she shot a video of herself naked on a wrecking ball, she'd be Let's Just Be Done With It and Send Her To Cancun Cleaver.
So how about you? Care to play? I've used up a lot of "June" rhymes but there are still a few of them out there. You can also use her last name (heaver, fever, weaver.) Or just use a different famous mom -- fictional or real. Carol Brady? Marge Simpson? Michelle Obama? Give me what you've got. If that's too much trouble just tell me one of your favorite games -- word, board, card, whatever. I want to hear from you!
Leave it to Beaver Photo credit:
Leave it to Beaver Photo credit:
By ABC Television (eBay itemphoto frontphoto back) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
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