I can't lie. I'm pretty freaked out right now and I don't know what to do. This happened way too soon after the Thor incident. I was still in recovery mode. My husband brought home a present. And by "present" I mean "horror beyond description." That's right. About a week ago evil took residence in my house.
Every year around the holidays, his officemates get together to give the worst gifts they can find. It's called The Terrible Awful Gift Exchange. You wouldn't believe the kinds of crazy stuff they've given to each other. Well, this year Rick got the mother lode.
When he brought it home I nearly choked on the gasp painfully lodged in my throat. Never before have I seen the true face of evil. Now I have. It looks like this:
Every year around the holidays, his officemates get together to give the worst gifts they can find. It's called The Terrible Awful Gift Exchange. You wouldn't believe the kinds of crazy stuff they've given to each other. Well, this year Rick got the mother lode.
When he brought it home I nearly choked on the gasp painfully lodged in my throat. Never before have I seen the true face of evil. Now I have. It looks like this:
Please say those aren't blood stains on his teeth.
Fill with M&Ms or spare body parts?
I know. It's like I'm in some sort of low budget horror film that I know won't end well. This clown is not only has has a smile that can kill your soul, he has a...what? A bowl to fill with candy? That whole "don't take candy from a stranger" business has risen to a whole new level. Reach into this bowl and he will surely grab your wrist and drag you to his lair, cackling all the way.
From behind, the guy looks disturbing, too. Forget the haunting eyes and bulbous nose. His butt has a full-blown wedgie. There is so much wrong with this and so little right.
From behind, the guy looks disturbing, too. Forget the haunting eyes and bulbous nose. His butt has a full-blown wedgie. There is so much wrong with this and so little right.
Looking a little uncomfortable...
Psychologists say you need to name your fear before you can tackle it. That's what I intend to do but I need your help.
HELP ME NAME THIS MOTHER SO I CAN TAME IT.
We can take the disarming route (Twinkles?) or turn left on to the John Wayne Gacy highway. I can go either way. Whoever comes up with the best clown name will win an autographed copy of my book, Extraordinary: Light vs. Dark. Another copy will be given at random to make it fair to those who are clown-naming challenged.
If you win and you live outside of the United States, I'll send an ebook, instead. I know, no autograph. But I promise I will send an email to you saying we're best buds.
I'll give this contest a couple of weeks. You've got until February 1st, 2013. But don't wait that long. That creepy smile is killling me. Help me now. Please.
HELP ME NAME THIS MOTHER SO I CAN TAME IT.
We can take the disarming route (Twinkles?) or turn left on to the John Wayne Gacy highway. I can go either way. Whoever comes up with the best clown name will win an autographed copy of my book, Extraordinary: Light vs. Dark. Another copy will be given at random to make it fair to those who are clown-naming challenged.
If you win and you live outside of the United States, I'll send an ebook, instead. I know, no autograph. But I promise I will send an email to you saying we're best buds.
I'll give this contest a couple of weeks. You've got until February 1st, 2013. But don't wait that long. That creepy smile is killling me. Help me now. Please.
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