Category: Identity

Good enough is the new fabulous!

8/15/2014

I know what you're thinking. Janene was on such a roll with her Ireland posts and then...nothing. What happened? Is she sick? Was she in some sort of accident? I'm happy to say neither is true. The fact is I got busy and, frankly, a little overwhelmed with all the Irish information I still had to sift through. For those who care, don't worry. I'll get back to them after this post. A promise is a promise. Still, I felt guilty about my waning motivation and lack of effort when it came to writing those posts. That is, until I went card shopping and found this little gem:

IT IS?

Imagine my excitement -- my vindication! I had no idea good enough was the new fabulous. Or maybe I did. I mean, every kid gets participation medals these days. Everyone is special, right?

Or is that statement already behind the curve? There's been a lot of talk lately on how no one is special, including you. Well, guess what. I'm here to say the talk is right. You're not special. But I'm also here to tell you that it's okay.

Believe it or not, you can be a great person and be average at the same time. In fact, most people are. That's how statistics work. Being average is...average. It's not a "fabulous" thing to be, but that's just fine. In fact, not being fabulous has its advantages. People don't expect awesomeness from you all the time. Or maybe they do. Maybe you do. Maybe you've pushed yourself, or been pushed to think nothing outside of brilliance is acceptable. Ugh. If that's the case, all i can say is I'm not a fountain of brilliance and I'm doing okay. In fact, I'm doing well.

Now I'm not telling you to give up your dreams or reach for the stars. I'm not saying you aren't special "in your own way." You're just not special in a "you're so unique and wonderful that you deserve more than other people" kind of way. People rarely are. Though, who knows? You might just end up being one of those super special people who can play an oboe with their nose and win America's Got Talent.

If you're not, though, all I'm say is you're not only going to be okay, you'll be in good company, too. It's okay not to be special. Good enough might not be fabulous but it is good enough.

But I digress. I had no intention of writing a philosophical post. My main goal was to make fun of that card. So allow me to present a few ideas on what people might choose to write inside of it.

To your son...

To your daughter...

To your mom...

The possibilities are endless. If you have any ideas on what you could say, post them below. If you don't, though, that's okay. Not everyone is good at that sort of thing. I still like you just the way you are. You're good enough for me. :)

10 Comments

I'm a geek

8/16/2012

13 Comments

I’m worried that I’m a geek, and it has nothing to do with the hoodie I bought that says ‘geek.’ That’s a coincidence. I just wanted a souvenir from the Microsoft gift shop and I thought that it was cute.

The reason I’m worried is because of last weekend. We FINALLY went to see Batman: The Dark Knight Rises. I was thrilled. I love all things superhero. I even wanted to marry Batman when I was young. (Sadly, I gave that dream up in my thirties.)

Anyway, when we decided to go I had on my glow-in-the-dark Batman hoodie. I had to change out of it. I mean, wearing Batman clothes to a Batman movie is geeky, right? So I swapped it out for the ‘geek’ hoodie I mentioned earlier. (It matched my toenail polish.) Still, I wondered, what 45 year-old woman has a glow-in-the-dark Batman hoodie, or even one that says ‘geek’?

No. I am NOT kidding.

It doesn’t end there. As I sit in my dining room, my gaze drifts toward the right. There in the corner, on top of my gorgeous French provincial chest, stands a Lord of the Rings Lego scene. No, it’s not mine. I just thought it was cute so I put it there. Geeky, right? As for my prized possession from my Seattle trip? A Dr. Who coffee mug. But that’s different. It's really not geeky at all. In fact, it’s kind of cool. When you pour hot liquid into it the TARDIS moves. Here, take a look:

The TARDIS, just hangin' in the street...

...while space remains a dark, empty abyss.

Then what devilry is this? The TARDIS is disappearing!

It's back in space heading for another adventure!

Seriously, how freaky is that?!

All right. I know what you’re thinking. You had me pegged as soon as I said ‘Microsoft gift shop.’ But that’s not my fault. I have an honest explanation. That’s where my brother works. He’s got a really great job doing ultra cool things. We had to check it out.

One of the things he works on is their Home of the Future. It’s packed with cutting edge technology for the home. Which is AWESOME. Though it’s not open to the public, my family got to take a tour. For even non-geeks, that pretty neat. They’ve got stuff there so secret, they won’t even let you take pictures. Well, actually….

Since my brother’s on the team, I got to take a TON of photos. Would you like to see some? Then click here. Just remember, Microsoft doesn’t know about these. Say nothing, so my brother doesn’t get in trouble.

Anyway, I’m coming to grips with my geeky side. It’s part of me. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you’ve got to embrace yourself. Make sure you do, too.

13 Comments

Summer stress

6/12/2012

28 Comments

Summer is here and school is out, which means my life is officially crazy. Sure, I can sleep in a little more and the burden of hounding the kids about homework has stopped, but those things don’t support my argument. So instead, let's focus on all the extra meal-making and chauffeuring I have to do. To make it easier, I tried to get a new car for my daughter, but the dealership refused the trade. ;) Seriously, though, I'd like to talk about the hardest thing there is about summer: the pressure to make sure my kids are ‘productive.’

It seems summers, these days, are less about relaxation and more about getting ahead.

It’s weird. We’ve got a lot of kids in our neighborhood but I rarely see them around. They’re all at camps, classes, and practices to increase their skills -- make them stronger, smarter, better. I’m curious, am I the only one who thinks this is strange? When did the bar get set so high? When did pick up baseball games at the local park turn into daily practice and weekend tournaments three hours away? Kids are taking ACTs when they’re sophomores, or younger. Private tutoring is a booming business. Plus it seems like a parent’s social status revolves more around their kids’ accomplishments than their own. That’s a lot of pressure -- for both parents and kids - -causing headaches all around. Plus we all know the higher we raise our expectations, the greater our chances for disappointment.

I know, I know. Global competition is fierce. The economic gap is widening. A lot of parents are worried that their kids won’t grow up to have lives as good as what they’ve got right now. Parents want to give their kids a fighting chance, but are they giving them ulcers, too? And this ‘program for success’ we’re feeding them, does it allow their independence and creativity to blossom?

I wish I knew the answer to all of this, but I don’t. I just know I don’t like it. But if I boycott this movement toward over-parenting, will that put my kids at a disadvantage? Kids today seem smarter and more talented than they’ve ever been before. Still, statistically, half of them are below average. Scary thought?

Anyway, I’m curious to hear what you think about this. Got a moment? Give me your thoughts!

28 Comments

You are what you wear?

2/24/2011

13 Comments

Jon Bon Jovi now

Flashback to my last year in college:

I’m in a business class and we’re discussing job interviews. One of the students raises his hand and says, “It’s not fair. I’ve got great grades and I’m a hard worker, but as soon as I walk into an interview I know I don’t have a shot, all because of my hair.”

He was right. Why? He had Jon Bon Jovi hair. No, not the cool stylings of the present day Bon Jovi. This was the Eighties, people. His tresses looked like a teased out poodle with twenty-inch long hair extensions had exploded on his head.

Now a lot of girls thought Bon Jovi's hair was totally rad back then, but interviewers? Different story.

Anyway, the teacher looked at the guy and said, “Why don’t you just cut your hair?”

He said, “Because it’s me. Why can’t people just look passed it to see the kind of guy I am?”

Then the teacher said, “If people have to look passed your hair to see the real you, then maybe your hair really isn’t ‘you.’”

Interesting point.

Long story short: the kid cut his hair and landed a job soon afterward. Ain’t it sweet when things wrap up so easily?

You know, we keep being told ‘you can’t judge a book by its cover’? Still, we do it all the time. Why? Maybe because we can make certain judgements based on one’s appearance. After all, the way people dress reflects who they are, right? Just go through any high school in the U.S. and it's not too tough to point out the jocks, goths, preps, nerds and stoners pretty easily. As for the Eighties? I've got to tell you, even back then a guy with Bon Jovi hair would not have been pegged as a smart, hard working Business major. Looks like this case is closed.

However...

Though sometimes the way people dress reflects who they are, sometimes it just doesn't. Some people hide behind their clothes as if they were wearing a mask. Others feel pressure to blend in and wear clothes for approval. Others just wear what's hanging in the closet without care for what message they're sending.

Isn't it funny how what one person feels totally comfortable wearing can make someone else feel totally uncomfortable? I still remember when Laura Ashley dresses were popular in the Eighties. If you don't know what one looked like back then, here's a 'vintage’ one available on eBay:

Girls wore them with hairbows, pearls, and -- here’s the really embarrassing part -- bobby socks and Keds. The look was hot. The look was cool. This meant, of course, I bought one.

When I wore it I felt like a moron.

Not that I didn’t look good. The dress was beautiful and I had all the proper accessories. But it wasn’t me. What many considered comfortable, I considered a costume. Even though I blended in, I felt like I stood out.

But back to the whole 'job' thing. Let's say there are two girls. One is wearing sweats, gym shoes, and the whole ponytail-with-a-rubber-band-around-the-head thing. Another is wearing a black leather jacket, matching lipstick, and a nose ring. If I needed someone to help me with an after school fitness program for kids, who do you think I'd hire first? For all I know, the goth chick is an awesome athlete and great with kids, but she sure not dressed for the part.

If you want a certain job you’ve got to dress for it. That's always been the case. We don’t see a lot of accountants running around in kimonos and bamboo flip flops, do we? Still, what about that lone accountant who really wants to wear one? What if wearing a kimono reflects who he or she really is?

I don’t know if I have any real answers here. I just know if you want to be taken seriously, you’ve got to dress that way. When it comes to work -- heck, when it comes to life -- sometimes you’re required to wear a costume. It sucks, but it's true.

So judging a book by it's cover? We have to recognize that people do it every day. As for how we use this information, that's up to the individual.

So take a look at yourself right now. I'm curious. Does what you’re wearing reflect the real you? If it does, how? If it doesn’t, why?

Just a point to ponder.

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Good enough is the new fabulous!

I'm a geek

Summer stress

You are what you wear?

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