Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

04/14/2011

If you think I'm gonna let that comment slide...

Those smoldering eyes… that sexy swagger.…Ooh, that untamed heart.

That…that…

That a-hole!

Why girls are attracted to bad boys, I’ll never know. I always chose the nice ones. Unfortunately, that meant I had a lot of cool dates with sweet guys until I met the man of my dreams.

So. Totally. Boring.

Okay, I’ll confess. I did date a bad boy once. He reeled me in with his charm and oh-so-vulnerable invulnerability. I fell for it. Then, when he thought he really had me, it started. An 'if you really loved me, you'd...' here, an ‘I might have to dump you if...’ there.

Well, he didn’t have me. I kicked him to the curb like an empty Coke can, thus ending my bad boy experiment. The weird thing was he was stunned. Those bad boy antics had been working for him up to then.

So why do girls love bad boys so much? Is it the drama? The challenge? The whole ‘chasing after what you can’t have’ thing? I’m sure that’s part of it. Plus all the books, TV shows and movies out there don’t help. They keep telling us that bad boys all have hearts of gold underneath that rock-hard exterior. They’re misunderstood. They just need the right girl to transform them into angels. Who wouldn’t want to be that girl?

Well, sorry to break it to you but in real life, 99.9% of bad boys are just, well, bad. Not that they can’t be fixed. They can. I’m just not sure if you’re going to like how to do it.

If you’re not dating one, ignore them.
If you are dating one and they start treating you like crap, dump them. Stat.

Don’t like it? Well, how else do you expect them to learn? By mooning over them and letting them treat girls like dirt? Sure, you could make up excuses in your head, like, ‘he must be hurting inside’ or ‘no one understands him,’ but do really think that’s going to help the situation? No.

Showing them that treating a girl badly doesn’t fly is the best thing you can do. Trust me, if they want some action they’ll learn. You might not end up getting the final prize but, who knows? Maybe that sweet guy you finally (hopefully) end up with will have been a former bad boy?

That would be a happy ending.

Rebel Without a Cause photo credit

Comments

Tershbango link

04/14/2011 08:17

I think for a lot of girls/women, there's something appealing about being the one to tame or reform the proverbial bad boy.

As I've gotten older, though, I've learned that there is NOTHING sexy about being miserable and unhappy or trying to change a person.

zobop republic link

04/14/2011 08:21

If a Bad Boy treats you like crap, he will probably treat your family like crap too; or vice versa.

Mom link

04/14/2011 08:21

I hear you. The romanticized version of what you hope will happen (and see in all the movies rarely works in reality.

Mom link

04/14/2011 08:26

(first comment was meant for Tersh. Just sayin')

Zobop,
Very true, unless they're the Eddie Haskell type. Those guys can be even scarier.

TJ Lubrano link

04/14/2011 08:31

Ciao!

I honestly don't know why bad boys are attractive to a lot of girls. Or why girls fall into their trap. What I've noticed so far is that bad boys do a lot of sweet talking and trying to be the perfect guy (until they have you that is)...I'm a bit too independent and down to earth for this. Hehe.

However, I've seen it with friends and I tried to warn them, but in the end you can't do a lot about it. They have to realize it for themselves.

Mom link

04/14/2011 08:38

TJ,

Glad to hear you don't fall for that caca. And you're right, some friends just get mezmerized by bad boys. Warning them makes no difference. You just have to hope they'll learn themselvs before they get too hurt.

Meredith link

04/14/2011 08:45

Bad boys are fun, but big trouble. I think I will leave it at that.. lol. Fun post Janene.

Mom link

04/14/2011 09:48

Meredith,
Sounds like you may have a story or two to tell, hmmm? I'll resist my instincts and not pry. ;)

timethief link

04/14/2011 11:11

I don't know why "bad boys" are attractive to some girls. They have never attracted me. I was attracted to boys who had good characters and ethics. However, I did notice that some girls sid have savior complexes or mother complexes and in most cases they became victims of abuse.

Mom link

04/14/2011 11:16

TT,
Why am I not surprised to hear that about you? ;) And I agree. Though I'm hesitant to make a blanket statement, I do see much potentia for abuse.

AJ link

04/14/2011 12:10

I don't pretend to understand it...but if I can take the easier path of being an ashhole AND get more girls as a bonus, why not? Of course, you can't treat a real woman that way...but luckily (in this case) there are few left :)

Mom link

04/14/2011 12:14

AJ! You...you...bad boy! I can understand the draw to act that way, though. Thing is, you'll never get a good woman unless you act like a good man. As I'm sure you know, girls who go after bad boys don't always have the makings for the best girlfriends. And as women get older, they start to wise up. Nice guys might not always get the girls in high school, but they clean up when they'e older.

Jenn Thorson link

04/14/2011 12:18

Sure, you can go for the James Dean, but look what happened to him. Myself, I prefer the Gregory Peck/Atticus Finch type. :)

AJ link

04/14/2011 12:22

Oh, I totally get that...honestly, I'm not really one way or the other until I see what she's about...feel her out, get a good sense of her and my intentions...and when I do meet a woman who is 1) of a caliber I know isn't gonna go for that, 2) uninterested in the experience, and 3) undeserving of the treatment, I put out the best parts of me...the rest can have my ass to kiss...they like it anyway. I'd love to find a nice girl to be a nice guy towards, but there seems to be a declining market share for it. It's sad, but you have to sell people what they're willing to buy... I do hope I don't have to be this way forever...my mommy would scold me lol

nothingprofound link

04/14/2011 12:35

I'm a bad boy, but not with women. Only against authority, at least in the past. I found that's something both men and women are attracted to, someone who breaks the rules, because so many people are afraid to. Timid people get a vicarious thrill out of seeing a rebel in action, doing things they wouldn't dare but would love to do.

Mom link

04/14/2011 12:48

Jenn,
I am so with you -- I had crush on Jimmy Stewart. What a pair we make.

AJ,
Good to know. I'm sure there are lot of ladies interested in the guy's side of things. What makes it tough for both parties is that girls go for that. What kind of message does that send guys. I know you'll find the right girl one day, if you haven't already. ;)

NP,
You're right. People do love 'vicarious thrills.' What fools we are. The people who break the rules -- especially if they're laws -- the ones who will suffer the consequences. If they are laws, however, the consequences may not be that bad. Glad you're reformed, though. ;)

Justus Steel link

04/14/2011 13:47

Something to say about this one, of course I got something to say about this one. It's dead on. There is a lot of different things that can be meant by "bad boys", but we'll work with the one you are going with. If someone is pressuring you to do anything, leave. Don't ever put up with that.
And let me let you ladies who are into the bad boys in on a little secret. How do you think you are going to stand out from the bunches of other girls that hang over the bad boy's ever word and action? By taking the suggestions in this blog, that's how. Ignore him. Don't give him what he's so used to getting. It sets you apart. It makes you different. Unless you just want to be another notch in the bedpost, dare to be different.
And one more thing, most of them ain't worth it.

Mom link

04/14/2011 14:46

Justus,
I'm always glad when you chime in. Did you hear him, ladies? Listen up!

Katja

04/14/2011 21:24

This post (and the comments) was the "get-over-him" pep-talk I needed... Thanks.

Mom link

04/15/2011 05:23

Katja,
Glad to be of service, though I'm sad about the heartbreak. Here's a hug:

*HUG*

SprigBlossoms link

04/15/2011 05:52

I liked NP's point of view on 'bad boys' : ) I have never dated such types, not that I have consciously avoided them or anything...but I feel I I never attracted them at all in the first place...it could be related something very plain about me that may be the factor....that and I ask too many 'why's ; )

Mom link

04/15/2011 08:13

SprigBlossoms,
Of course there is something wrong with you -- you're a smart girl with a good head on her shoulders! No bad boy would want to mess with that. ;)

blak9820 link

04/15/2011 08:46

haha.. nice to read
Glad m not bad yet :P

Mom link

04/15/2011 14:51

Blak,
I'm glad you're not bad yet, too. Try to keep it that way! ;)

laughingmom link

04/16/2011 07:17

Nope, the bad boys are really the boring ones - it's the ones that we pick to live with that keep us on our toes!

Mom link

04/16/2011 07:26

laughingmom,
I hear you. Once you catch on to their antics, it gets old pretty fast. As for the ones I live with? All of them -- the hubbie and my two sons -- definitely keep me on my toes!!

PhotoDiction link

04/18/2011 09:08

Some people always want a challenge. But sometimes love is hard enough with people that care - why complicate it more than it needs to be. I understand that the 'rebel' image can be romantic. Until you think about what faithful, caring, and honest love can do to romance.

Mom link

04/18/2011 13:53

Photodiction,
Such a good point. Love is hard enough, why make it harder!

Xanax

05/18/2011 01:42

Lovely blog with a lot of pointers for teens especially. Wish I had read this decades ago

Mom link

05/18/2011 10:16

Xanax,
Thanks for the praise. I wish I had KNOWN this stuff decades ago. It would have saved me a lot of trouble and heartbreak.