A Heartfelt Letter of Apology
When it comes to parents, one of the greatest tools to have in your arsenal is the apology...
With Dad, apologies are easy. Just mention your monthly friend and, with a cringe, he’ll absolve you on the spot. But Mom? She’s trickier. That’s where I can help.
Below, you’ll find The Official Apology Letter Template, guaranteed to get you out of hot water. It might land you in even hotter water, but let’s not focus on that. Simply get out a piece of paper (no email or texting, it doesn’t look as sincere) and copy the following text. You can insert your own phrases in the blanks, or use one of the universal phrases written below. If it doesn’t work, buy chocolate. Not for your mom, for you. Chocolate just makes things better, don’t you think?
Anyway, good luck.
Dear Mom,
I’m sorry I __________________________
a) did what I did,
b) took a blow torch to the dashboard of your car,
c) pierced my navel using a stone from your wedding ring,
d) deleted the “House Hunters” marathon from our DVR,
but I’m _____________________________
a) young, and still figuring things out.
b) having a scandalous affair with my math teacher, leaving me confused.
c) gassy and irritable from too much nacho cheese dip.
d) the Devil’s spawn, switched at birth, and therefore programmed that way.
I promise I’ll _________________________
a) do better next time.
b) kiss Aunt Edna at Thanksgiving, no matter how big her hairy mole is.
c) stop cleaning out my belly button with your toothbrush.
d) pummel the squirrel that keeps eating out of the bird feeder.
I’ll even _____________________________ to make up for it.
a) do extra chores
b) take a pole dancing class
c) cancel my subscription to Fancy Reptiles magazine
d) join the Spencer Pratt fan club
And remember, no matter what, _______________________
a) I love you.
b) The shirt you’re wearing looks ridiculous.
c) I will always ask you for money before I go shopping.
d) Lindsay Lohan’s The Parent Trap is much cooler than the original.
Love, (Your Name Here)
Back to home
Anyway, good luck.
Dear Mom,
I’m sorry I __________________________
a) did what I did,
b) took a blow torch to the dashboard of your car,
c) pierced my navel using a stone from your wedding ring,
d) deleted the “House Hunters” marathon from our DVR,
but I’m _____________________________
a) young, and still figuring things out.
b) having a scandalous affair with my math teacher, leaving me confused.
c) gassy and irritable from too much nacho cheese dip.
d) the Devil’s spawn, switched at birth, and therefore programmed that way.
I promise I’ll _________________________
a) do better next time.
b) kiss Aunt Edna at Thanksgiving, no matter how big her hairy mole is.
c) stop cleaning out my belly button with your toothbrush.
d) pummel the squirrel that keeps eating out of the bird feeder.
I’ll even _____________________________ to make up for it.
a) do extra chores
b) take a pole dancing class
c) cancel my subscription to Fancy Reptiles magazine
d) join the Spencer Pratt fan club
And remember, no matter what, _______________________
a) I love you.
b) The shirt you’re wearing looks ridiculous.
c) I will always ask you for money before I go shopping.
d) Lindsay Lohan’s The Parent Trap is much cooler than the original.
Love, (Your Name Here)
Back to home
