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Sounding Off on Toothbrushes

12/5/2013

23 Comments

 
So I learned a couple things about myself when I went to the grocery store:

1. I'm resistant change.
2. I'm a hypocrite.

I discovered the first thing when I challenged myself to wear my purse on my left shoulder instead of my normal right. (Yes, I'm always doing things like that to keep me on my toes and, yes, I know it's weird.) Anyway, it didn't work. After ten minutes my untamed left shoulder stopped cooperating. My purse kept "accidentally" falling off though it was no real accident. It just felt too weird so my lazy shoulder just said "no."

As to being a hypocrite, though, no purses or shoulders were involved. It had to do with those sound toothbrushes. You know, the ones that play a song while you brush. I've always thought those things were stupid. And I've said so. A lot. Not that I don't like sound-making devices, In fact, I have one in my corner of love. When pressed, it emits bloodcurdling yet gleeful screams of people riding a roller coaster. I find the strange mix of joy and horror oddly appealing which, I know, could be due to some sort of sick sensibility on my part. As an American, though, I'd rather blame it on someone or something else -- like gratuitous media violence. It's desensitized me. Now I thirst for carnage.

But back to sound toothbrushes. As I casually rolled my shopping cart down the aisle, I saw a bunch of those ridiculous things. Justin Bieber had one (Ugh!), as well as Psy (He's still relevant?) and LFMAO (LFMAO!). Even Lady Gaga had one. I groaned, though she was great on Saturday Night Live, wasn't she? .
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Then I saw it. The one. It literally jumped into my cart. I tried to put it back but couldn't.
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Originally, the toothbrush was next to a box of Cocoa Puffs and some Cosmic Brownies in my cart. Before I took the picture, I realized it would make me look like one of those moms who just feeds her kids crap, so I placed it next to tomatoes and leafy greens. Don't judge.
And now my magical, rock it 'til you drop it toothbrush has a place of prominence on my bathroom counter.
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What can say? Queen gets me every time, plus how can I think badly about devices that promote good dental hygiene? So when it comes to sound toothbrushes, I laugh no more. Unfortunately, my husband still does. Is watching a 46 year-old woman rock out in the bathroom as she brushes her teeth really that funny?

Don't answer that.

23 Comments
Andrea
12/5/2013 05:48:20 am

This is hilarious! First off, I always switch up the arm my bag rests on when I'm feeling adventurous. Second! I never understood the rave about these toothbrushes. Why would you want to wake up and have Justin Bieber, One Direction, or anyone singing in your mouth? HAHA! But I wouldn't pass up the 'We Will Rock You' toothbrush either so .. Have fun jamming out while brushing your teeth!

Reply
Mom
12/5/2013 06:00:28 am

Yay! I'm not the only wacky one out there. I'm so with you about the Bieber/One Direction thing, though I doubt their target market goes beyond twelve years old. But maybe if they get songs from AC/DC or the Beatles, they could expand their market! (P.S. Had to laugh at your UGGly comment on BC!)

Reply
Helena Fortissima link
12/5/2013 06:54:17 am

OMG, you've just given me a great idea for an Xmas present for the hubs. He went out and bought himself one of those automatic toothbrushes, too, so I'm going to get him a singing one! Who could resist Queen? I hope I can find that exact one. Although I can't think of anything specific, there are lots of things I pooh-poohed as stupid, only to find out how useful or fun they really were.

Reply
Mom
12/5/2013 07:21:13 am

Sounds like a plan to me! If they had more "classic" songs I bet there would be plenty more adults on board. If there had been one with AC/DC's "All Night Long" I would have probably purchased twenty of them to keep me in many years' supply!

Reply
nothingprofound link
12/5/2013 07:12:59 am

I'll have to pass on this one, Janene. Brushing my teeth is the last thing (well sometimes the next to last thing wink wink) I do before bed. I can't even begin to imagine the nightmares a singing toothbrush might create.

Reply
Mom
12/5/2013 07:22:35 am

Perhaps you need one featuring something from Enya? ;) That'll help you drift into sleep!

Reply
Melody Oswald
12/5/2013 10:18:10 am

My husband would love it!!!!! Great post! You always have the most insightful things to say!

Reply
Mom
12/5/2013 12:39:12 pm

Aw, shucks. You always make me feel like a superstar, Melody.

Reply
Rum Punch Drunk link
12/5/2013 08:27:56 pm

I've not even seen this in my neck of the woods and it would be a great gift idea too. Let's hope that after a month or so, you don't get tired of hearing that song and refuse to brush your teeth, ha ha ha.

Reply
Mom
12/5/2013 09:41:27 pm

Do you dare suggest that Queen will no longer be able to rock me?! :) Silly boy!

Reply
Ian C link
12/5/2013 09:47:25 pm

We will, we will brush you!

Just think of the puns they could use to sell these.

Reply
Mom
12/7/2013 05:10:52 am

Haha! Love it, Ian!

Reply
zobop republic link
12/5/2013 11:57:48 pm

You should try switching shoulders from time-to-time. It helps keep your body/bones symmetrical. That osteoporosis could kick in any time soon. ;)

As for sound toothbrushes...Um, I don't think it would be wise to do Gamgnam Style, [Psy], while brushing teeth. LOL.

Reply
Mom
12/7/2013 05:12:55 am

Oh, to grow old. It sucks! And you're right, someone might knock out a couple of their teeth if the dance Gamgnam style while the brush!

Reply
TJ Lubrano link
12/7/2013 06:03:02 pm

I was right! You usually have a new post when I see you wandering across the web :) I'm so with you on changing habits like switching up the way you wear something. I did the same with my bag. It's like you can't walk all of the sudden! I kept kicking against it or walking in an odd line...

Ohhh that tooth brush!! I'd want one with a magical tune so I could image going on a quest while brushing my teeth!!

Oh! I finally left you a new review on Amazon too. I'm not sure if you get a note for reviews? A friend of mine said he didn't. Just a heads up! Wee! :D

Reply
Mom
12/8/2013 12:47:30 am

"It's like you can't walk all of a sudden." THAT'S IT! :) The same thing happens when I try to brush my teeth with the other hand. And I can totally see you with one of these toothbrushes. Now I've just got to think of a song for you. It's either got to be something super sweet, like a cupcake or something that would cue a disco ball to come down from the ceiling. :)

And thank you, THANK YOU for writing a review for Moms are from Mars. It's so appreciated. Reviews make a huge difference in the book selling world. You're awesome, though you already knew that, right?

Reply
TJ Lubrano link
12/8/2013 04:37:09 am

A DISCO TUNE!!! Oh my gosh! That would be totally groovy. I want one!

And you're MOST welcome! I know how important it is indeed, but I kept forgetting to write one as I don't stick with a "must read. get yours now!" hehe. I have to ramble a bit you know? You're very awesome yourself, but you knew that as well, I think? XO

melody kia link
12/8/2013 03:49:20 am

Now I want one of these singing brushes too... Rama-ramama-ah GaGa-ooh-la-la! Want your bad romance!!!

I totally relate to these hypocritical ways. I think everyone does. Something new comes out and it can be the most idiotic thing I've ever heard of and I wont shut up about it either...but soon enough you'll see me using and loving that exact thing. Uggs, Tom's, Mia2, The Twilight Series... I even think the iphone was on my no-no list once upon a time...

Reply
Mom
12/8/2013 05:13:47 am

Then I say go for the Lady Gaga one! Love that song. And Uggs got me, too. I said "no way" then later purchased some and wore them to death. It's strange how some things grow on you!

Reply
timethief link
12/8/2013 04:43:11 am

I want one!

Maybe there will be one hanging from my Solstice tree. Hopefully, it won't sing Bing Crosby's White Christmas because I never want to hear it again. LOL :D Adelle would be okay with me.

All the best to you are yours at Christmas.

Reply
Mom
12/8/2013 05:19:08 am

My dearest timethief! How wonderful to hear from you. I hope all is well your way and that your holiday season is very merry -- and an Adele toothbrush would be FABULOUS!

Reply
lisleman link
12/20/2013 11:18:21 am

I have seen these. I still thing they are stupid. The toothbrushes not the artists. The reason I browsed over here was the mention the Blog Catalog gave your blog in their year end newsletter/greeting/thankyou toothbrush. Congrats.

Reply
Mom
12/23/2013 12:32:27 am

It was so sweet of them to mention me. I love BC! As for the toothbrushes, maybe you'd "change your tune" if you saw one with your favorite song...or maybe not. ;)

Reply



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