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Lost in Translation: Italy

10/7/2010

6 Comments

 
If this isn’t your first time here, you may have read my harrowing account of stupidity in Lost in Translation: The Wall. Well, I’m here to tell you I have the distinct honor of being a screw up in more than one language. This time? Italy.

Ahhh, Italy. The history, the architecture, THE FOOD! The 'Eat, Pray, Love' chick got it right. If you want to eat until your belly button pops out, Italy is the place to go. Not only does it have the best cuisine but the best waiters, too. In Italy, being a waiter is a vocation, not a way to help pay for college or pay the bills until some Hollywood producer discovers you. Food is an art. The chef? An artist. The server? Dang, I don’t know where I’m going with this just trust me, Italian waiters are awesome. They strive to make your meal pleasurable, memorable.
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Anyway, during one of our trips to Venice, my husband and I discovered a wonderful little restaurant near Basilica di San Marco, which sounds way cooler than St. Mark’s Basilica. The atmosphere was beautiful, the menu scrumptious, the waiter? Ohhhhhh, man. Tall, dark and handsome never looked so good.

He came right to our table as soon as we were seated and started rolling out the charm. That smile, that accent -- I don’t care what people say, Italian is the most romantic language in the world. Though I had no idea what he was saying to me, in my heart I knew it was something like this:


Senorina, are you enjoying your stay in Venice? (I nod.)

Never have I waited on someone so lovely. I hope you find my city lovely, too? (I nod again.)

And the shopping. Please say your husband has indulged you with a trinket or two. Maybe some jewelry? A Gucci handbag? (Another nod.)

Etc., etc., etc.

And so it continued for a minute or two, he with the questions and me nodding like a bobble-head. My husband just looked on and smiled. “Looks like I need to learn Italian,” he chuckled. Well, as it turned out, I was the one who needed to learn it because five minutes later the waiter came out with a serving tray the circumference of the moon. I swear I saw his knees buckle right before he set it down. That’s when I realized our earlier conversation had sounded more like this:

Senorina, would you like to start with a glass of our special house wine? (I nod.)

I’m sure you would like an appetizer, as well. Can I bring you some cheese and bread to start?  (I nod again.)

Our salads here are also amazing.  Can I interest you in our caprese salad? One for your husband, too? (Another nod)


Etc., etc.,  etc.

Now I can’t say it was the only time I was suckered into buying something due to a language barrier, but I can say that it was the most enjoyable one. Like I said, in Italy the waiter’s job is to make your dining experience memorable.

He didn’t fail at his task.

St. Marks photo credit from antrix's photostream
6 Comments
Dyeve link
10/8/2010 12:05:23 am

yes, I had many experiences in Italy. I I go there very often, but the waiters
or the Italians are the funniest
people,plus they are very romantic..

Wishing you a blessed week-end!
Dy,

Reply
Mom link
10/8/2010 12:10:40 am

Dyeve,

I'm glad you agree! And you're right, they are so romantic, too. It's a whole different lifestyle. In America, so often it seems like we live to work. In Italy, they live to enjoy. We could learn a few lessons from them!

Reply
Funkkeejooce link
10/10/2010 06:08:57 pm

Oh Janene, I had to laugh about your post. I really enjoyed it and it brought back memories when I visited Venice. I love Italy as a whole, the language, the food, everything! Having lived in Austria for 10 years, I was just a hop away.

Although my experience in Venice was not a good one, my love for Italy has never wavered. My ex-boyfriend is an Italian as well who left me on my wedding day. lol

There's just something about Italy that makes you come back for more. :)

Reply
Mom link
10/10/2010 10:15:43 pm

Funkkeejooce,

Okay, this is what you post sounded like to me: "nice nice nice Venice nice nice Austria cool nice nice. Venice meh Italy MY ITALIAN EX-BOYFRIEND LEFT ME AT THE ALTER. nice nice." Holy smokes! I mean, I'm glad you still love Italy, but wow! Drop a bomb, man! It must have been very rough for a while. Hopefully, you've recovered. If not, pizzas are the same shape as a dart board. Maybe you can get some pent up frustration out by throwing darts at one of them. Seriously, major suckage.

Reply
Juliana link
10/11/2010 06:42:10 pm

This has made me giggle so much!I love Italy and venice is one of my favourite cities.
Your post also makes me cringe with identification. I have travelled widely in Europe yet my language skills are deplorable - some schoolgirl french and thats it.
A few years ago we headed off for a weekend in Brussells - wonderful place. I was ordering in a restaurant from a menu completely in french to a waiter who spoke no English. I thought I had ordered a seafood platter starter.
When it came, this thing was on a 4 tier stand as wide as the table - it was crowned with 2 whole fresh lobsters. It had a dozen oysters - and oodels of raw shellfish which we loathe.
It wouldn't have been so bad, but I had also ordered 2 filet mignon with full sides!
Our bill came to 350 euros - that's about $400!! Thank goodness they took Visa.

Reply
MulBlog link
10/15/2010 08:20:26 am

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Reply



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