Lies your mother tells you

Last week I wrote a post about that crazy pageant mom who gave Botox treatments to her eight year-old daughter. Well, if you’ve been watching the news you know the story didn’t end there. A few days later Child Protective Services removed the daughter from the woman’s custody until further investigation. After that, the mom panicked, explaining the story was all a hoax, fabricated to make some money. She also said the reporter who originally broke the story was in on it. Then the reporter called the mom a liar, saying she believed it to be true -- she even saw the woman give her daughter injections!

Who’s telling the truth? We don’t know yet. We do know one thing, though. Someone's lying.

So why do people lie? In the case above it may have been for money, to get a child back, or sell some newspapers. There are many other reasons, though. People lie to get things, like a job, or get rid of things, like a used car. They may want to make someone feel good, or make them feel bad. They might also just be lazy, afraid, or want to cover their butt.

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I meant figuratively, not literally, Sheesh!

Whatever the reason, everyone has to acknowledge lying comes with risk. You can lose respect, someone’s trust, as well as a lot of sleep. You can also lose that job, get sued for that car, and under certain circumstances there’s even jail. When you go down that road you never know exactly where you’ll end up.

But enough of the lecture. You’re probably wondering about moms. Do they ever lie?  

Well…

I’ve got to be honest with you. If I said I never lied it would be a big fat fib. Here are some examples of my dishonesty:

Confession #1: The pacifier fairy did not come and take my son’s last binky away. I took it out from under his pillow, tossed it into a bonfire in a fit of joy, and replaced it with a Thomas the Tank Engine story book.
My reasoning: Fear he would hang onto my pant leg for days, tears streaming down his face, begging for his binky back. Fairies have a strict ‘no take backs’ rule and are conveniently unavailable during times of weakness. Strangely, kids get that, even at a very young age.

Confession #2: That chicken I made last night? In truth I did make it the exact same way I made it four months ago.
My reasoning: Frustration, exhaustion, and certainty that if my kids really -- I mean really -- gave it a try this time they might have liked it.

Oh, and while I’m coming clean here, the crust is not -- I repeat NOT -- the best part of the sandwich. Moms say that because not eating the crust is a waste food.  Plus the crust has eight times more pronyl-lysine (an antioxidant that raises phase 2 enzyme levels which helps prevent cancer) than the white part, and has more fiber, too. Even though it’s not the best part, it’s still a pretty dang good part so, come on, EAT YOUR CRUST.

BTW, if you think I knew that whole antioxidant thing off the top of my head you are wise beyond your years. I am that smart. Really. ;) 

Before I go, there's one more thing. I asked a huge group of kids (four) what they considered to be the biggest lie parents told them. They all agreed it was the one about kids being able to grow up to be president. What? No, 'Where do babies come from?' I blame the sample size. Well, anyway, as it relates to the whole 'president' thing, all I can say is this: Many of our presidents came from humble beginnings. You really never know. Someone has to be president, right? Why couldn't it be one of them? Plus, there's this awesome quote, too:

“When you reach for the stars you might not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud, either.” - Leo Burnett

One of a mom’s most important jobs is to encourage their kids, give them the confidence to pursue their dreams. It’s a tough world out there, don'tcha know. Having someone in your corner makes a difference.

So, yes, sometimes your mom might lie but she does it with the best of intentions.

Honest.

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