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Lies your mother tells you

5/26/2011

26 Comments

 
boy makes face
Last week I wrote a post about that crazy pageant mom who gave Botox treatments to her eight year-old daughter. Well, if you’ve been watching the news you know the story didn’t end there. A few days later Child Protective Services removed the daughter from the woman’s custody until further investigation. After that, the mom panicked, explaining the story was all a hoax, fabricated to make some money. She also said the reporter who originally broke the story was in on it. Then the reporter called the mom a liar, saying she believed it to be true -- she even saw the woman give her daughter injections!

Who’s telling the truth? We don’t know yet. We do know one thing, though. Someone's lying.

So why do people lie? In the case above it may have been for money, to get a child back, or sell some newspapers. There are many other reasons, though. People lie to get things, like a job, or get rid of things, like a used car. They may want to make someone feel good, or make them feel bad. They might also just be lazy, afraid, or want to cover their butt.

road of liesI meant figuratively, not literally, Sheesh!
Whatever the reason, everyone has to acknowledge lying comes with risk. You can lose respect, someone’s trust, as well as a lot of sleep. You can also lose that job, get sued for that car, and under certain circumstances there’s even jail. When you go down that road you never know exactly where you’ll end up.

But enough of the lecture. You’re probably wondering about moms. Do they ever lie?  

Well…

I’ve got to be honest with you. If I said I never lied it would be a big fat fib. Here are some examples of my dishonesty:

Confession #1: The pacifier fairy did not come and take my son’s last binky away. I took it out from under his pillow, tossed it into a bonfire in a fit of joy, and replaced it with a Thomas the Tank Engine story book.
My reasoning: Fear he would hang onto my pant leg for days, tears streaming down his face, begging for his binky back. Fairies have a strict ‘no take backs’ rule and are conveniently unavailable during times of weakness. Strangely, kids get that, even at a very young age.

Confession #2: That chicken I made last night? In truth I did make it the exact same way I made it four months ago.
My reasoning: Frustration, exhaustion, and certainty that if my kids really -- I mean really -- gave it a try this time they might have liked it.

Oh, and while I’m coming clean here, the crust is not -- I repeat NOT -- the best part of the sandwich. Moms say that because not eating the crust is a waste food.  Plus the crust has eight times more pronyl-lysine (an antioxidant that raises phase 2 enzyme levels which helps prevent cancer) than the white part, and has more fiber, too. Even though it’s not the best part, it’s still a pretty dang good part so, come on, EAT YOUR CRUST.

BTW, if you think I knew that whole antioxidant thing off the top of my head you are wise beyond your years. I am that smart. Really. ;) 

Before I go, there's one more thing. I asked a huge group of kids (four) what they considered to be the biggest lie parents told them. They all agreed it was the one about kids being able to grow up to be president. What? No, 'Where do babies come from?' I blame the sample size. Well, anyway, as it relates to the whole 'president' thing, all I can say is this: Many of our presidents came from humble beginnings. You really never know. Someone has to be president, right? Why couldn't it be one of them? Plus, there's this awesome quote, too:

“When you reach for the stars you might not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud, either.” - Leo Burnett

One of a mom’s most important jobs is to encourage their kids, give them the confidence to pursue their dreams. It’s a tough world out there, don'tcha know. Having someone in your corner makes a difference.

So, yes, sometimes your mom might lie but she does it with the best of intentions.

Honest.

26 Comments
nothingprofound link
5/25/2011 11:25:24 pm

Janene-I'm on the phone right now with social services letting them know that you lie to your children. I know an unfit mother when I see one. I have never, ever, ever lied to my daughter, and I'm willing to swear that on a stack of Playboy magazines.

Reply
Mom link
5/25/2011 11:36:40 pm

NP,
I know shame on me. ;) Luckily, those lies are very few and far between. I've always been one for truthfullness. Keeps the trust there and the bonds strong. But sometimes....

Reply
TJ Lubrano link
5/25/2011 11:48:51 pm

Oooh my mom did tell me that my face would stay that way hahah! Also, I always had to eat up every bit of sandich, otherwise I would stay short. I totally forgot about that! I do understand why parents lie every now and then, sometimes the questions kids throw at you are exhausting! And I don't even have kids (yet) I'm speaking out of experience with cousins hehe.

Reply
TJ Lubrano link
5/25/2011 11:49:44 pm

Whoops, I meant sandwich of course. Sandich sounds like a strange city or a strange meal haha.

Reply
Mom link
5/26/2011 12:01:01 am

TJ,
Exhaustion can play a large role, to be sure. As my kids get older I find it more and more important to take the time and answer the big questions. I have to admit, though, when they were youngsters and asked a question requiring a dissertation of an answer, sometimes I just said, 'I don't know.' Bad me.

Reply
SprigBlossoms link
5/26/2011 04:10:04 am

'Where do babies come from' is the question that gets the best creative answers, I guess! My kids being as young as they are, I feel I have to simplify some parts of life, in order to make any sense to them :)

Reply
AJ link
5/26/2011 04:35:07 am

heh...my mommy told me those kinds of lies all the time...of course, my pop refuted most of them (also for my own good), but at least it gives me post topics :)

Reply
Tershbango link
5/26/2011 06:13:57 am

I didn't have a pacifier fairy, but maybe it was the cigarette fairy that kept throwing away my smokes when I was a teenager. And here I've been blaming my mom all these years. :(

Reply
Mom link
5/26/2011 06:31:58 am

Sprig,
Ah, yes. Where babies come from. When kids are young, simple answers are the easiest. It gets harder when there older. Sometimes you have to tell them the truth when you don't want to.

AJ,
An interesting childhood makes for an interesting blogger, I always say! ;)

Tershbango,
A cigarette fairy? I'm sure she really took the pressure off your mom. ;)

Reply
jay.me link
5/26/2011 08:12:15 am

Cool post Janene! =) I like the picture too. At first I thought it was the botox moms face.
What is it with the crust anyway? Is that a universal mom thing?

Reply
Mom link
5/26/2011 11:20:11 am

jay.me,

Ha ha! That's actually my son. He's been wanting to get his photo on my blog. Can you tell he has a wacky sense of humor?

Reply
PBscott link
5/31/2011 01:32:09 pm

I have heard that if his face does stay like that, that a few doses of Botox can fix it.

Reply
Rico Swaff link
5/31/2011 02:06:17 pm

I am going straight to my mom and asking her what her main lies.

Just did, and she went on a tangent about how Santa Claus was the worst lie her mother ever told her.

I have a cousin who hid his binkies because he was on to his parents' throwing them away. It was so funny. :)

Reply
Mom link
6/1/2011 02:00:18 am

PBScott,
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :)

Rico,
What?! No Santa Claus? You just burst my bubble. Next thing you'll be telling me is there isn't an Easter Bunny, either. As for binkies, my son was just like your cousin. He reminded me of an alcoholic stashing mini flasks all over the house. We'd take one out of his mouth, he'd toddle away and come back with another one. I agree -- hilarious!

Reply
TBT link
6/2/2011 10:35:13 am

What a great post! Not only did you cover the supposed child distortion story but you impressed us (or at least me) with your antioxidant straight-off-the-cuff (or should that be crust?) info :).

But there's more - confessions about tooth/truth fairies and fibs about cooking...will your virtues never cease???

Anyways, the thing about lying that I find the hardest and which is one of the reasons I've given it up completely is that you always need another lie and another and another to cover up the first and the next and the one after...know what I mean? Besides, I love watching the disarming effect truth (especially when its unexpected) has on people :)

That said, I do give myself plenty of freedom to relate different aspects of reality as I view it or choose to view it ;)

Reply
Mom link
6/2/2011 12:24:41 pm

TBT,
Virtues? Moi? Such the flatterer! As for lies begetting other lies, that's one of the biggest downfalls. Dang, it's enough to tire someone out. Plus you're right, the truth can be much more fun. ;)

Reply
PhotoDiction link
6/4/2011 02:55:11 am

"give them the confidence to pursue their dreams" - exactly what a mom should be doing. Nice entry, Janene!

Reply
Mom link
6/4/2011 03:37:42 am

PhotoDiction,
Thanks! Moms make great cheerleaders...as long as they don't run around wearing mini-skirts with pom poms in their hands.

Reply
TheCrankyCanadian link
6/6/2011 11:41:17 am

What a great post! I kinda wanna steal it now and write my own. :( haha!

I remember when I was a kid, our house was next to a big river. Being inexplicably drawn to water and not being able to swim, my mom was constantly worried that I would wander down to the river's edge, fall in and drown. Soooo, here's the big, fat lie...she told me that a big, bad whale lived in the river and he would eat me if I ever went down there alone. Needless to say, I never went again period! haha! Good ol' moms. Nothing like scaring the crap out of their kids to set 'em straight. :D

Reply
Mom link
6/6/2011 11:24:05 pm

Cranky,
"No, sweetie, there isn't a monster under your bed...it's in the river!" Nothing like scaring the bejeezus out of a kid to keep them from drowning. I hope you've forgiven her! :)

Reply
Southern Mama link
6/7/2011 10:16:09 am

ha ha ha...I love the pacifier fairy. I will have to use that one on my 2 year old so maybe just maybe I can get her to get rid of that binky.

Reply
Mom link
6/7/2011 12:32:22 pm

Southern Mama,
Whatever works! Those binkies can be tough to get rid of. May the force be with you.

Reply
Joyce Lansky link
6/8/2011 12:45:52 am

I guess I'm guilty too. When my son was little, I gave him a tic tac before bed and told him it was a sleeping pill.

Joyce
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

Reply
Mom link
6/8/2011 01:45:34 am

Joyce,
OMG. Too funny. The desperate things mothers will do to get their kids to sleep!

Reply
timethief link
6/10/2011 05:35:19 am

If you ask adults why they lie to kids, the most common reason they give is to protect them, or to do encourage them to grow up. One of the least excusable reasons adults lie to kids is to maintain power over them.

Reply
Mom link
6/12/2011 07:32:38 am

TT,
I would hope parents wouldn't lie to without honorable intentions. If they do, that's pretty darn sad. AS for lying to kids to maintain power over them? I agree, uncool.

Reply



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