At a football game? Really?
When it comes to dressing like a ho, you know what I’m talking about: too much here, not enough there, etc. So instead of discussing that issue (though, for the record, I will say that a red bedazzled bra with matching leather mini-skirt is a definite fashion ‘don’t’) I’m going to discuss this one: mom’s reaction when you dress that way. Let’s set the scene…
You’re in your bedroom, getting ready for a big night out. Looking yourself over in the mirror you say, “Yeah, this definitely won’t pass the ‘mom’ inspection but, dang, I look totally hot! And I am growing up aren’t I? Maybe, if I just sneak out the front door…
BUSTED.
Your mom catches you with your hand on the doorknob and gives you THE LOOK. You aren’t going anywhere dressed like that, not without a fight. You take a deep breath and prepare for the worst.
Here’s where I come in. Want to know what your mom is thinking? For some moms I’ll be wrong, but for most I’ll be right. Typically, there are two responses:
Response #1: Oh my, GOD! I’m raising a (OMITTED DUE TO ADULT CONTENT FILTERS)! What have I done? What has SHE done? I hope I’m not too late. She needs an intervention! Call the priest/minister/rabbi/appropriate religious figure ASAP!!
You saw that one coming, didn’t you? Well, with everything parents hear today are you really that surprised? We’re constantly worried about our kids ‘making the right choices.’ We know it’s a battle. We’ve been there. Still, you'll find the parents who respond like that are the teeny tiny minority.
There's another response. It's the one most parents think and you just might be surprised. It goes a little something like this:
Response #2: Oh, man. She’s reached that age where she’s starting to explore her sexuality. Does she realize the way she looks? I hate to say it, but it looks like she’s asking for it. That can mean only one of two things…
She IS asking for it. Please say that's not the case. She's so young, too young. Does she really know what 'it' means? I'm not talking about the physical mechanics, but the aftermath-- the consequences, feelings, potential problems? (dramatic pause for reflection) Looks like it’s time for a serious talk.
And that outfit? Talk about attracting the wrong attention. She doesn’t look alluring, she looks easy. Every boy who sees her will think that way, too. That also goes for the girls…. Oh, man. The girls. I can’t wait for the rumors to start. (sigh)
Okay, let's not jump to conclusions here. Chances are she's NOT asking for it. She might not realize the kind of message she's sending. I really hope that’s the case....
Always remember, Mom is on you side. She wants you to look your best, feel your best, be your best. So what happens next? I don’t know. It’s up to you and her. All I can offer is the official mom fantasy:
Your mom gently guides you back to your room and helps you pick out an outfit. The two of you find something both attractive and appropriate. You talk about different ways to attract guys without looking desperate. This leads to a nice, heartfelt talk about (ahem) other things. It doesn’t feel awkward at all! As you ask and answer each other’s questions, you both feel the mother-daughter bond strengthen. You give her a hug and tell her how much you love her, how you feel you can come to her with any problem. “Mom,” you say. “You’re so wise. What would I do without you?” It ends with her walking you to the door. You look beautiful, confident. You’re priorities are straight. She smiles, marveling at what a wonderful young woman you’ve become. You give her a sweet kiss on the cheek, open the door and dash to your car -- a cute, but not too flashy one with a high safety rating that you purchased with your own money. As she watches you drive away, she wipes a happy tear from her eye. Then she saunters into the kitchen to grab a slice of zero-calorie French silk pie, only to discover the entire room is spotlessly clean, the work of magical fairies.
Hey, we can dream, can’t we?
Anyway, chances are it won’t go anything like that. But we want it to be. We really do. Actually, what we REALLY want is to never see you dressing like a ho. Talk about a dream come true.
So remember, no red bedazzled bras. Okay?
Okay.
You’re in your bedroom, getting ready for a big night out. Looking yourself over in the mirror you say, “Yeah, this definitely won’t pass the ‘mom’ inspection but, dang, I look totally hot! And I am growing up aren’t I? Maybe, if I just sneak out the front door…
BUSTED.
Your mom catches you with your hand on the doorknob and gives you THE LOOK. You aren’t going anywhere dressed like that, not without a fight. You take a deep breath and prepare for the worst.
Here’s where I come in. Want to know what your mom is thinking? For some moms I’ll be wrong, but for most I’ll be right. Typically, there are two responses:
Response #1: Oh my, GOD! I’m raising a (OMITTED DUE TO ADULT CONTENT FILTERS)! What have I done? What has SHE done? I hope I’m not too late. She needs an intervention! Call the priest/minister/rabbi/appropriate religious figure ASAP!!
You saw that one coming, didn’t you? Well, with everything parents hear today are you really that surprised? We’re constantly worried about our kids ‘making the right choices.’ We know it’s a battle. We’ve been there. Still, you'll find the parents who respond like that are the teeny tiny minority.
There's another response. It's the one most parents think and you just might be surprised. It goes a little something like this:
Response #2: Oh, man. She’s reached that age where she’s starting to explore her sexuality. Does she realize the way she looks? I hate to say it, but it looks like she’s asking for it. That can mean only one of two things…
She IS asking for it. Please say that's not the case. She's so young, too young. Does she really know what 'it' means? I'm not talking about the physical mechanics, but the aftermath-- the consequences, feelings, potential problems? (dramatic pause for reflection) Looks like it’s time for a serious talk.
And that outfit? Talk about attracting the wrong attention. She doesn’t look alluring, she looks easy. Every boy who sees her will think that way, too. That also goes for the girls…. Oh, man. The girls. I can’t wait for the rumors to start. (sigh)
Okay, let's not jump to conclusions here. Chances are she's NOT asking for it. She might not realize the kind of message she's sending. I really hope that’s the case....
Always remember, Mom is on you side. She wants you to look your best, feel your best, be your best. So what happens next? I don’t know. It’s up to you and her. All I can offer is the official mom fantasy:
Your mom gently guides you back to your room and helps you pick out an outfit. The two of you find something both attractive and appropriate. You talk about different ways to attract guys without looking desperate. This leads to a nice, heartfelt talk about (ahem) other things. It doesn’t feel awkward at all! As you ask and answer each other’s questions, you both feel the mother-daughter bond strengthen. You give her a hug and tell her how much you love her, how you feel you can come to her with any problem. “Mom,” you say. “You’re so wise. What would I do without you?” It ends with her walking you to the door. You look beautiful, confident. You’re priorities are straight. She smiles, marveling at what a wonderful young woman you’ve become. You give her a sweet kiss on the cheek, open the door and dash to your car -- a cute, but not too flashy one with a high safety rating that you purchased with your own money. As she watches you drive away, she wipes a happy tear from her eye. Then she saunters into the kitchen to grab a slice of zero-calorie French silk pie, only to discover the entire room is spotlessly clean, the work of magical fairies.
Hey, we can dream, can’t we?
Anyway, chances are it won’t go anything like that. But we want it to be. We really do. Actually, what we REALLY want is to never see you dressing like a ho. Talk about a dream come true.
So remember, no red bedazzled bras. Okay?
Okay.
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