Whether it’s true or not, I don’t know. The info came from nameless ‘industry insiders.’ Regardless, I feel the need to address any poor soul who, in the hopes of scoring fifteen minutes of fame, ends up with a million minutes of misery.
That’s right. You heard me. Motherhood sucks.
Okay, so it doesn’t suck all the time, but I’d be lying if I said it’s a bed of roses. Moms deal with a lot of crap, both literally and figuratively. Along with many great moments come a lot of awful ones…and boring ones...and bang-your-head-against-the-refrigerator ones, too.
Now before I continue, let me give props to Teen Mom. They don’t glamorize motherhood and do a fair job of showing how hard it can be. Still, MTV is in the business of entertainment and what they highlight on the show reflects the most interesting parts of the girl’s lives. ‘Interesting’ doesn’t always mean ‘good.’ In fact, a lot of it’s bad. Still, it’s interesting.
When you have a baby, there’s not a lot of ‘interesting.’ In the beginning, your life revolves around feeding the baby, rocking the baby, and changing the baby’s diaper. Not the best prime-time TV fare. And those diapers? They don’t smell like freshly baked apple pies, and newborns go through at least eight a day. You have to feed them eight times a day, too, and not just during daylight hours. There are midnight feedings, 2 AM feedings, 4 AM feedings…. Get the picture? Trust me, when you have a baby you never look at a pillow the same way again.
As they get older you don’t have to change their diapers and feed them as often. Instead, your time is spent running around after them making sure they don’t ruin everything you own or, God forbid, get hurt. Until a kid is at least three years-old, if you don’t watch them every minute they could die. Seriously. Did you know that most moms with young kids go to the bathroom with the door open? They're not exhibitionists. They just need to be available every single moment in case something terrible happens.
Case in point: One day I really had to ‘go’ (‘nuff said). Feeling brave, I left my then twenty month-old son on the couch and went to the bathroom fifteen feet away. I couldn’t see him from there, but he was engrossed in Dora the Explorer so I thought I was safe. A few minutes later I heard a soft whooshing sound. Was water running somewhere?
Yep. As soon as I hit the john, my son had headed up the stairs and into the master bath’s Jacuzzi. By the time I got up there, the tub was filled with five inches of water. He was too little to be able to get out of the tub on his own. If I hadn’t arrived in time….Luckily, I arrived in time.
I’d like to say things like that didn’t happen often, but I’d be lying. When you have a toddler, crazy stuff happens all the time. Their life is literally in your hands.
As for that mention earlier about Dora the Explorer? Be warned. All those annoying children’s programs, music, and toys will dominate your life. Forget Pretty Little Liars. You’re on the Yo Gabba Gabba bandwagon now.
As kids get older things don’t get easier, the challenges just change. There’s so much activity! The next time someone asks for my address, I’m just going to give them my license plate number. Plus all the cooking, cleaning, helping with homework. Holy frickin' moly.
Still, it’s the mental aspect that’s toughest for me. Even though I have good kids, sometimes we struggle to get along. Shocking, I know. Plus I love them with every fiber in my being and want them to grow into happy, successful adults. A lot of pressure goes with that. I’m constantly worrying about how well they do in school, do they have enough friends, do they have the right friends, etc. The worrying never stops. Heck, I’m forty-three and my mom still worries about me. When you sign up to be a mom, you sign up to place someone else’s needs over your own for at least eighteen years. Is that worth a photospread in Okay magazine? Not in my notebook.
Now I’m not saying don’t have kids. There's a lot of joy in parenting, too. Just don’t have them when you’re a teen. There’s so much out there you've yet to experience. Doing it with a child is so hard. Somethings you can't do at all. Getting an education, travelling…even going out to a movie is tough. To give all that up for a shot at temporary stardom? Crazy.
Well, I’m done here. I hope I made my point. Now go give your mom a hug. She deserves it.