But don't worry. I'm her to rescue you with some products that will make you smile -- but don’t. Please. Smiling wrinkles your skin, plus you really need to whiten your teeth.
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insides boil, which burns more calories…or does it cause cardiac damage? I forget.
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wrinkled, you might need to continue to plan B. Use Baba De Caracol Original Snail Slime facial cream. Remember ‘original.’ Don’t fall for imitations. All slimes are not the same!
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Without big boobs, women must rely on their personalities to get dates. Such a horror! My favorite product? F-Cup Cookies. They’re FDA-unapproved! Plus you get to eat cookies. Double bonus. This product is (very definitely) too good to be true!
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I'm sure there are more horrible -- I mean awesome -- products out there to make you more beautiful. If you've got one, please share. We all need a little help, don't we?