Being a teenaged guy can be pretty tough -- even tougher during certain parts of the year. Need a clue? Homecoming. Another? Prom. Yes, I’m talking about ohmygodIhavetoaskagirltothedance season. For a guy it can be pretty painful.
Did you know that incidences of male stuttering increase 450% during the ‘asking a girl out’ process? That circumference of under-arm sweat circles goes up 600%? My guess is you didn’t because those figures aren’t true. Still, asking a girl out isn’t easy, which is why I’m particularly disturbed by a certain trend I’ll call The Big Ask.
Here are some examples:
The Burger King sign that says:
Hannah + Jacob
= Winter Ball?
Crispy Chicken Sandwich just $1.99
The bag of flaming poo placed carefully on Mallory’s doorstep with the sign,
“Prom would be crappy without you.”
So tell me, who in the world dreamed up this humiliation? Isn’t having the balls to go up to a girl and ask her out enough? What if she says, ‘no?’ It’s one thing to have your ego crushed. It’s another to know you spent $12.96 on four bags of Blow Pops so you could waste two hours mounting them on a poster board reading, “Life will suck if you don’t go to the dance with me.”
As a mother of boy who will (hopefully not too soon) be entering the dating game, I must call for this madness to stop. Asking a girl to the dance will be hard enough. Why make it harder?
If you don’t agree, then answer me this: As the girl in this little scenario, what if you don’t want to go out with the guy who asks you? It’s a lot easier saying ‘no’ to someone who didn’t just glass chalk the windows of your car with ‘The Top 10 Reasons U R Awesome.’ Another question: What if the guy just bags it? What if he decides he can’t come up with something cool enough to do so he just decides not to ask you at all? It’s been known to happen.
Okay, okay. So you already have a boyfriend. You know he’ll ask you to the dance and he knows you’ll say ‘yes.’ Why not have a little fun? My answer: resource utilization. Save his energy for more important acts of subjugation, like taking you to see a chick flick or carrying shopping bags at the mall. Big Asks waste serious brownie points. With everyone trying to go green, you really shouldn't be wasteful.
Let's face it, we’re already high-maintenance. Stop the eye roll, you know it’s true. So this time let's throw the guys a bone? Say 'no more Big Asks,' please?
My son will thank you later. I will, too.