HAVE SEX.
You heard me. “‘When you know what sex really feels like….it makes you confident in any situation.’” At least that’s what it says in this month's issue of Seventeen magazine. Just read ‘Love & Sex Secrets.’ I did.
Man, what joy I felt seeing that little nugget of truth displayed on the printed page.
First question's first, though: What was I doing reading Seventeen? Trust me, it had everything to do with my thirst for all things teenagery and nothing to do with a high school fundraiser my daughter participated in last semester. Honest.
But back to the sex/confidence thing....
Are you frickin' kidding me? I should have heard the warning bells when I read ‘The Rules of College Dating’ first. In it, Noelia of Wesleyan University offered Rule #6: Introduce your guy and roomie ASAP. Not bad advice. Then she goes on to say:
“If you like someone, introduce him to your roommate as soon as possible. If she’s friends with him too, she won’t care as much when he drops by your tiny dorm room all the time or sleeps over a few nights a week.”
Seriously? I say if you’re roommate’s boyfriend is constantly spending the night shave both of their heads while they’re sleeping. Or you could just report them. That’s been known to work.
Anyway, back to the sex/confidence thing again…
WTF, Seventeen? Please tell me you didn't mean the way it sounded.
And for all you girls out there, if you need a confidence boost go get a mani/pedi or add a few highlights to your hair. No money? Then just watch the latest Pink video or something. Trust me, having sex might not boost your confidence. In fact, it just might shatter it. So don't let anyone -- your boyfriend, your girlfriends, your psychotic pet hamster -- and especially not some stupid magazine convince you to do anything you're not 100% ready to do. Got it?
And when you are finally ready? Still wait.
...Oh, come on. What did you expect me to say? I'm a mom after all, remember?
cat and lion photo credit