It happened again. One of my pleasantly perfect friends just posted a Facbook status (not evenly remotely) similar to this:
That’s right. She was fake flaunting her magnificent culinary skills, an area in which I’m sadly lacking. You see, as a mom, I have a terrible inferiority complex. I'm always worried I don't measure up. I don't want to be one of those women who bring home the bacon and fry in up in the pan. I want to one of those women who bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, then crumble it into a savory bolognese sauce and serve it over pasta al dente.
Sadly, I am not one of those women. Still, I try my best. Take last night’s dinner. I think I fared pretty well....
 
For my husband, I went all out and served him Banquet’s salisbury steak meal.
Ahhh. There’s nothing like errant corn nibblets swimming in brown gravy to get the salivary glands going. Notice the potatoes, effortlessly stirred to make them extra fluffy. And that green stuff on the plate below the tray? A sprig of parsley, just like they do in fancy restaurants. Okay, so it’s tarragon. I didn’t have parsley. And yes, it’s just dried leaves out of a McCormicks bottle. But I made the effort so I demand some credit. Would anyone else ever think to do that?

Don’t answer that. Instead, take a look at the beverage so beautifully positioned by the plate. I could have made lemonade from scratch, but that would have denied my husband his daily requirement of Yellow dye #5. Instead, I went with Kool Aid lemonade -- made with an extra pinch of sugar because I’m sweet. Not only that, I served it up in a wine glass. Because I’m classy.

Since my kids rarely like the same thing that my husband and I do, I went a little crazy and microwaved something different for them: Banquet chicken pot pies.
Here's a sample. You may not be able to tell, but I went the extra mile and created a smilie face on the crust by poking holes on it with a fork. Yeah, that’s me. Just adding a little extra magic to the experience. And, yes, after I microwaved it the face did look like it threw up a little bit, but I think my kids still appreciated the effort.

Scooby Doo fruit snacks were added a a side dish to fulfill their vitamin C requirement. As for veggies? No worries. Carrot cubes and peas were already in the pie -- so much nutrition in one place! Of course, I served up more Yellow Dye #5 in Olive Garden kiddie cups. Nothing like a touch of whimsy to make the dining experience special.

So there you have it: family dinner made with a touch of Mom’s love. Please hold your applause until this post is over, which is now.

I’m taking a bow.
 


Comments

02/10/2012 08:56

Awww hahaha Janene! I just love your post :D and I am hungry now. Don't stare at me thinking 'she is hungry after seeing my food pictures?!' - because I aaaaam hungry! I rather have a meal cooked with love than a fancy looking meal that I don't even dare to touch in case I use the wrong fork or something. That's why I don't often eat in a restaurant...I make things fly. I kid you not.

Hmm I probably shouldn't be posting the cupcake pictures anymore huh?? ;)

Also...I totally saw the smiley in the chicken pot pie :D

*applauds*

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02/10/2012 09:01

I can't believe those photos made you hungry. I'll confess, I love those stupid pot pies but the salisbury steak? Wretch!

And don't you dare stop posting those cupcake posters. They are such a feast for the eyes -- with zero calories!

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02/10/2012 11:17

I never ate a chicken pot pie, maybe that's why it made me hungry!

Cupcaaaaaaaakes :D

02/10/2012 09:00

I can heat up a mean TV dinner. All you have to do is add some pepper and other spices to, you know, spice things up. :)

And I'm being serious. :)

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02/10/2012 09:03

I'll bet you are. Some are definitely better than others, I will say that. Trust me, don't go near the salisbury steak. It's toxic!

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02/10/2012 09:28

Janene, funny, funny post. Still, you can't fool me. That sprig of parsley gave you away. Only a woman who's studied with the finest chefs in Europe would add such a master touch.

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02/10/2012 09:38

Ha ha! You blew my cover, NP! ;)

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02/10/2012 09:32

That is the sexiest Salisbury Steak I have ever seen!

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02/10/2012 09:39

Hubba hubba! And thanks, again, for the inspiration my dear! Hope I did you proud!

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02/10/2012 09:42

Absolutely! :D

IYAAYAS Moderator
02/10/2012 10:48

It takes just as much talent re heat food without destroying it as it does to do it all from scratch. You "cook" alot like my wife and I during the week. Great job!

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02/10/2012 11:36

Aw, shucks. Thanks! I try...I try... ;)

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02/10/2012 11:11

A Pot Pie with an Olive Garden plastic cup! Does it get better than that? :)

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02/10/2012 11:37

You know, I was going to go with the cups from Culvers then I thought, "No. My kids deserve better."

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02/10/2012 13:53

Haha. Pie is awesome, and the smiley face does add some love. That's what counts :)

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02/10/2012 15:55

Ha ha! Thanks. Maybe I should have used the corn nibblets to make a smilie face on the salisbury steak, too.

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02/10/2012 15:58

i loved this! my sister is exactly like you; not a fan of cooking at all. nothing wrong at all with good old pot pies!

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02/10/2012 16:13

Thanks, Kris. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there!!

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Deray
02/10/2012 16:34

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA I bet your husband is not as good cook as you ;-)

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02/10/2012 16:45

You got that right, sister! :)

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02/10/2012 22:35

I like how you set them on nice plates. lol.
I agree with NP ...I bet you're actually a great cook in reality. :]

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02/11/2012 06:34

Nice plates always add that extra touch. :) And I'll confess: I'm not a bad cook. I'm just not great, though I do make a mean gravy. It's the German part of my heritage.

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02/11/2012 13:11

As always, I love the humorous spin in all your posts! Having to cook every single day for the whole family and their specific tastes, is a chef's dream come true ;).....who am I kidding? it gets to you sooner than later. I have known restuarant chefs who don't cook at all at home, it's the spouse that pickes up the homefront. I personally love cooking, but on a daily basis, I could take all the help that is out there :)

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02/11/2012 13:25

Having so many people with so many tastes sure does make it more difficult. When I go all out and make something different, the effort just goes to waste. I'm glad you enjoy cooking. It's great when you love something you have to do.

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02/15/2012 12:37

Lol, my fiance and I have been living off of Stouffer's TV dinners and Jacks frozen pizzas for a while now. Every once in a while we will have noodles with Prego (ironically she is "prego" again) alfredo sauce with canned peas..... yep. :)

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02/15/2012 13:19

Rico! So glad you're alive and surviving fatherhood. Another one on the way? Congrats! It's no wonder you don't have time to put your chef hat on. BTW, I love Prego. Use it all the time!

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