So your mom always wants 'to talk about it’...
What ‘it’ is can vary, but I know what you’re saying. Maybe you just broke up with your boyfriend, or something really embarrassing happened at school. All you want to be is left alone. But here comes Mom with her words of wisdom and eyes of pity. Not in the mood, huh?
When you deal with your mom, you need to understand two things. First off, she’s been there. You may think she has no idea how you’re feeling, but she does. Trust me. And she probably has some pretty good advice based on her experience. Even so, you may not want to hear it - not then, maybe not ever. So you need to understand something else: mothers are programmed to fix things. Got a rash on your back? She’s on it. Need a new pair of contacts? She’ll make the appointment today. So when a problem comes along, it’s her first inclination to jump right in and make it right. She knows your growing up and need to start handling things on your own. But the ability to back off does not come instinctually. She needs to be trained. So this is what you do: Tell her you know she cares and that you love her for it. Then say you want to try and work things out on your own. If you find you can’t ,she’ll be the first person you go to. I bet it’ll work.
Remember, she loves you and wants you to be happy. As long as she knows you appreciate that fact, she’ll find it easier letting you grieve in peace. Good luck, with your mom, and with that problem you’re trying to work out.
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What ‘it’ is can vary, but I know what you’re saying. Maybe you just broke up with your boyfriend, or something really embarrassing happened at school. All you want to be is left alone. But here comes Mom with her words of wisdom and eyes of pity. Not in the mood, huh?
When you deal with your mom, you need to understand two things. First off, she’s been there. You may think she has no idea how you’re feeling, but she does. Trust me. And she probably has some pretty good advice based on her experience. Even so, you may not want to hear it - not then, maybe not ever. So you need to understand something else: mothers are programmed to fix things. Got a rash on your back? She’s on it. Need a new pair of contacts? She’ll make the appointment today. So when a problem comes along, it’s her first inclination to jump right in and make it right. She knows your growing up and need to start handling things on your own. But the ability to back off does not come instinctually. She needs to be trained. So this is what you do: Tell her you know she cares and that you love her for it. Then say you want to try and work things out on your own. If you find you can’t ,she’ll be the first person you go to. I bet it’ll work.
Remember, she loves you and wants you to be happy. As long as she knows you appreciate that fact, she’ll find it easier letting you grieve in peace. Good luck, with your mom, and with that problem you’re trying to work out.
Back to Why does Mom DO that?
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