So your mom treats you like a baby...
There are three ways your mom could be treating you like a baby. She could be coddling you, continually hammering you on behavior, and/or not let you do things you feel you’re ready for. I’ll address all three:
She coddles you. You’re sixteen years old, and your mom is still cutting your food because ‘knives are dangerous.’ An extreme example, but you get the drift. Why does she keep treating you like a baby? Because you are one. Hers. Sometimes your mom just looks at you and flashes back to that cute little three year-old dancing along with Barney on the television. It can be hard watching your baby grow up, but it’s even harder being that ‘baby.’ If this is your case, you’ve just got to be upfront with her. Tell her you’re growing up. You need to do certain things yourself. How are you going to make it in this world if you’re still drinking out of a sippy cup or don’t know how to do laundry? Laundry? Yep, you heard me. I know it sounds like a pain but, trust me, it’s a good strategy. If you start doing ‘grown up’ chores your mom will start realizing you’re not the baby she keeps thinking you are. Plus you’ll need these life skills later. You don’t want to be one of those lame chicks who can boil water or fold a shirt the right way. Seriously. It’s a win for both you and your mom.
She keeps hammering you on behavior. Ugh. This can be so annoying. “Don’t forget to put your shoes in the closet.” I know. “Make sure to use a coaster.” I know. The reminders never stop. Here’s the big question, though: Are the reminders necessary? If you’ve been putting your shoes in the closet consistently, tell her. Don’t be rude about it, just say, “No need to keep reminding me, Mom. I’ve got it handled.” You might have to say this a few dozen times, but she’ll eventually get the message and stop. However, if she keeps reminding you to do something you keep forgetting to do then, sweetie, you’re the one who has to change, not her. Let’s say you chew with your mouth open. That’s just gross. You may think it’s no big deal. Your friends never say anything. That’s because your friends are too embarrassed to tell you. Your mom, on the other hand, isn’t embarrassed to tell you anything. Ever. It’s part of her charm, and part of your misery. Still, be glad there’s someone willing to give it to you straight. It may hurt at times, but wouldn’t you rather take your lumps safely at home instead of at school…or on a date…or anywhere that could be much more embarrassing? Still, don’t be afraid to tell her if she’s hurting your feelings. Sometimes too much honesty is painful. Just say, “I know you mean well, but it really hurts when you correct me all the time,” and she’ll get the message. She might say something like, “I’m only doing this because I love you. Yadda, yadda, yadda,” but trust me, she’ll hear you. Just keep that mouth closed while you eat, okay?
She won’t let you do things you feel you are ready for. Maybe you can’t stay out as late as you’d like. Or maybe you can’t date yet, or drive two hours away to that concert you’re dying to see. This problem is a toughie because it’s so subjective. Different parents have different rules and, odds are, you’ve got that one super cool friend in your mix with parents that let them do anything they want. First off, be glad that girl isn’t you. Seriously. It might seem like she’s got the best of all worlds, but things are not always as they appear. Plus, it doesn’t matter. She has her parents and you have yours. You need to focus on your own life. When a situation arises where you want to do something and your mom/parents are hesitant, ask them what their concerns are. They may be pretty valid. There might also be a way to compromise so both of you will be happy. Then again, there might not. I’ve said this before, and I mean it sincerely, parents have an obligation to keep you alive and safe as long as you’re living with them. It’s a scary job. The world can be a scary place and they are just doing their best to protect you. I know that might not help your situation but, hopefully, knowing they mean well helps. Still, if you want to try and negotiate better terms with your parents, make sure to act mature about it. Don’t yell at them or say ‘you never let me do anything.’ That won’t help. Talk with them, not at them. Listen. Weigh the pros and cons together. If you act like a grown up, chances are they’ll treat you like a grown up, and that’s a good step for both of you.
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She coddles you. You’re sixteen years old, and your mom is still cutting your food because ‘knives are dangerous.’ An extreme example, but you get the drift. Why does she keep treating you like a baby? Because you are one. Hers. Sometimes your mom just looks at you and flashes back to that cute little three year-old dancing along with Barney on the television. It can be hard watching your baby grow up, but it’s even harder being that ‘baby.’ If this is your case, you’ve just got to be upfront with her. Tell her you’re growing up. You need to do certain things yourself. How are you going to make it in this world if you’re still drinking out of a sippy cup or don’t know how to do laundry? Laundry? Yep, you heard me. I know it sounds like a pain but, trust me, it’s a good strategy. If you start doing ‘grown up’ chores your mom will start realizing you’re not the baby she keeps thinking you are. Plus you’ll need these life skills later. You don’t want to be one of those lame chicks who can boil water or fold a shirt the right way. Seriously. It’s a win for both you and your mom.
She keeps hammering you on behavior. Ugh. This can be so annoying. “Don’t forget to put your shoes in the closet.” I know. “Make sure to use a coaster.” I know. The reminders never stop. Here’s the big question, though: Are the reminders necessary? If you’ve been putting your shoes in the closet consistently, tell her. Don’t be rude about it, just say, “No need to keep reminding me, Mom. I’ve got it handled.” You might have to say this a few dozen times, but she’ll eventually get the message and stop. However, if she keeps reminding you to do something you keep forgetting to do then, sweetie, you’re the one who has to change, not her. Let’s say you chew with your mouth open. That’s just gross. You may think it’s no big deal. Your friends never say anything. That’s because your friends are too embarrassed to tell you. Your mom, on the other hand, isn’t embarrassed to tell you anything. Ever. It’s part of her charm, and part of your misery. Still, be glad there’s someone willing to give it to you straight. It may hurt at times, but wouldn’t you rather take your lumps safely at home instead of at school…or on a date…or anywhere that could be much more embarrassing? Still, don’t be afraid to tell her if she’s hurting your feelings. Sometimes too much honesty is painful. Just say, “I know you mean well, but it really hurts when you correct me all the time,” and she’ll get the message. She might say something like, “I’m only doing this because I love you. Yadda, yadda, yadda,” but trust me, she’ll hear you. Just keep that mouth closed while you eat, okay?
She won’t let you do things you feel you are ready for. Maybe you can’t stay out as late as you’d like. Or maybe you can’t date yet, or drive two hours away to that concert you’re dying to see. This problem is a toughie because it’s so subjective. Different parents have different rules and, odds are, you’ve got that one super cool friend in your mix with parents that let them do anything they want. First off, be glad that girl isn’t you. Seriously. It might seem like she’s got the best of all worlds, but things are not always as they appear. Plus, it doesn’t matter. She has her parents and you have yours. You need to focus on your own life. When a situation arises where you want to do something and your mom/parents are hesitant, ask them what their concerns are. They may be pretty valid. There might also be a way to compromise so both of you will be happy. Then again, there might not. I’ve said this before, and I mean it sincerely, parents have an obligation to keep you alive and safe as long as you’re living with them. It’s a scary job. The world can be a scary place and they are just doing their best to protect you. I know that might not help your situation but, hopefully, knowing they mean well helps. Still, if you want to try and negotiate better terms with your parents, make sure to act mature about it. Don’t yell at them or say ‘you never let me do anything.’ That won’t help. Talk with them, not at them. Listen. Weigh the pros and cons together. If you act like a grown up, chances are they’ll treat you like a grown up, and that’s a good step for both of you.
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