US Gets the Pillow, Canada Gets the Love
Halloween has passed. Today is Veteran's Day (Thanks to all who served!) and Thanksgiving is coming soon. That can only mean one thing: It’s time to start holiday shopping.
I know, I know. I’m a little behind. Target put their Christmas stuff out weeks ago. It was such a joy sifting through all the ornaments and garland as I looked for an Iron Man Halloween costume for my son. Good times.
I’m not sure how it is for you, but for me finding the perfect gift for everyone on my list is stressful. It can also be costly. That’s why I decided to hold my first official -- make that non-official, for all you lawyers out there -- giveaway.
That’s right, folks. This is your chance to get something for free. What’s the super cool item? A Sound Asleep Comfort Pillow!
(cue the announcer)
Give it as a gift, keep it as a keepsake. Your choice. All you need to do is leave a comment under this post with the song and/or artist you most like to listen to while nodding off to sleep. From there, your name will be written on 3’’x5” orange index card, thrown into a kiddie pool with the others, then a rabid squirrel with an overbite will dive in and select one. You’ve got through Sunday, November 21, 2010. I’ll announce the winner the following Thursday. Only one comment will be counted per person. Spammers will be burned at the stake. There are no age or gender restrictions, but there is one stipulation….
(cue the violin)
The pillow can only be shipped to a U.S. address. If you live in another country, that doesn’t mean you can’t win, it just means you need to send it to someone in the States. (Remember the ‘give it as a gift’ idea?) Yes, I know. This kills me, too, but selling a kidney to pay shipping costs to Taipei is not an option. So if you live outside the US, I deeply apologize. If you live in Canada? Well…
(WARNING! If you do not live in Canada, stop reading now. Continuing may result in hurt feelings and/or crying in your wish-it-were-a-Sound-Asleep- Comfort pillow.)
…my heart goes out further. That’s right, ‘Oh Canada,’ country where close to one-third of my readership lives. I can’t send you a pillow, but I can send you this:
I love you, dear Canada. I love you for your mounted police, as well as your mighty moose. I love your beautiful bi-colored flag featuring a maple leaf (an oak leaf would have been so lame) as obvious tribute to your awesome maple syrup. I also love your Canadian bacon, which I affectionately call ‘ham,’ even though it is nothing like the vastly superior American bacon for which I have an unhealthy, but sincere, addiction. Your hockey playing is unparalleled (work with me, Chicago Blackhawks fans), your healthcare is free, plus you have the way cooler side of Niagara Falls. Having one national language instead of two? How chic and avant garde! A country like yours is too fantastic for just one. As for your famous citizens (Justin Bieber and Captain Canuck), as well as the more trivially known (Scott Abbott and the late Chris Haney, co-creators of Trivial Pursuit), they are, quite simply, a cut above the rest. Due to my sincere devotion to you and your people, I won’t even insert a Celine Dion joke here despite my wicked desire to do so.
So thank you, Canada. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your continued readership and awesome taste in blogs.
Okay, if you are from one of the other 53 countries that also read me and you were masochistic enough to read the above, please know I love you, too. Seriously. I wouldn’t be here without you….or rather, I would, but a lot less people would be listening to me and I would be sad, very sad.
That’s right. It's all about me, folks. J
So with all that being said, sweet dreams and good luck. Now it’s time for comments….
P.S. If you think I'm doing this for an ulterior motive (collecting email addresses to sell, etc.) you don't know me very well. I'm just not that sophisticated or motivated. I even keep the 'login or sign up' comment feature de-activated so I don't have to deal with it. You just type in the info and go. This is risk-free fun, folks. What's stopping you?