The worst Easter candy

04/05/2012

26 Comments

 
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Ah, Easter candy -- a mother’s dream! Well, actually, it's more like a diabetic coma. That is, unless you love watching sugar-infused kids destroy your house, leaving smears of chocolate all along your walls.

Okay, so it’s not that bad, but some of the candy can be. Let's celebrate that now, shall we? Here’s a list of the worst Easter candy out there. Tell me if you agree...

Peeps
I have to start with these unnaturally-colored hardened marshmallows encased in a sugary shell. Even the most hard-core fructose fans can’t stomach these. The only cool thing about them is their dress-up potential:
Cadbury Eggs
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When I get a chocolate egg, nothing pleases me more than cracking it open and finding snot. Yum!
Tootsie Rolls
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Really? I don’t CARE if they’ve been wrapped in pastel wrappers, they're still Tootsie Rolls! My kids still have some in the bottoms of their Halloween buckets. Enough!

Jordan almonds
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Let’s be honest, the only place you see these are on your great grandma’s coffee table in a cut crystal bowl. They’ve been sitting there since last Easter and no one’s touched them yet. I dare you to eat one. I dare you!
Bunny teeth
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Mmmm...teeth. What more can I say? It's such a savory concept. Don't they look appetizing? I can't wait to eat my baby chick beak gummmies next.
Religious suckers
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Silly me. Easter is all about Jesus, which means there’s no better time to remind children they were born in sin, don't you think? I thought so. Amen!



Chocolate-flavored Easter bunnies
Why have chocolate when you can have chocolate flavor instead? Seriously, what is this stuff made out of any way? Spend the extra 50 cents and get real chocolate, for cripes sake. To help you out, I’ve found two suitable choices:
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Dude and the Zombie Bunny. I would so watch that movie.
So there are my picks. What's your least favorite Easter candy? Your favorite? Do tell!
 


Comments

Katy link
04/05/2012 08:32

This was great! I try and avoid the aisle that even carry peeps - they scare the crap out of me....:-)

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Mom link
04/05/2012 08:44

I am so with you. They are just plain wrong.

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TJ Lubrano link
04/05/2012 08:39

Ohhhh peeps? I've never heard of peeps before. I almost wrote creeps hehe. I think I pass on all sweets. I have no sweet tooth at all and chocolate only in moderation. I rather bake with it and let others eat haha. NOT that I do something strange with the bake goodies though...

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Mom link
04/05/2012 08:45

Good ahead and call them creeps -- please! Good for you for not having a sweet tooth. It'll keep you thin! As for me, I'll have whatever you bakd. ;)

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TJ Lubrano link
04/05/2012 09:09

One day we will eat some baked goodies together!! :D

Mom link
04/06/2012 06:01

Oh, how I dream, TJ.... :)

zobop republic link
04/05/2012 08:40

Candy Corn! Can't stand them. :(
But you can't lose with good 'ol Chocolate Bunnies.

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Mom link
04/05/2012 08:47

Oh no. I love candy corn. Will this ruin our friendship now? ;) As for chocolate bunnies, I love them as long as they're real and not chocolate 'flavored.' Creepy!

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nothingprofound link
04/05/2012 08:46

Janene, that's a formidable list of candy non-delights. Add caramels if you please-hate how they stick to my teeth. Personally. I'm partial to any combination of coconut, mint chocolate and almonds

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Mom link
04/05/2012 08:48

Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I LOVE caramels and can't stand coconut. Mint chocolate, though? Mmmmmm.

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Jen link
04/05/2012 22:12

So much peep hate!! I used to love those Cadbury eggs, but they really turn me off now.

Also, those Jesus suckers are DISTURBING on so many levels.

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Mom link
04/06/2012 05:58

The peep hate is a bit overwhelming, but justified, I think. I still remember when those Cadbury eggs first came out. They had the cutest commercials. EVERYONE wanted one. Then they got them. Ew.

Don't even get me started on the suckers....

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Felicia link
04/06/2012 04:53

Oh peeps...I used to LOVE them as a kid; though, now I'm not sure why lol. They really don't test that good. You've got a good list here and I'm happy to report I've been able to avoid most of these candies for a good while now.

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Mom link
04/06/2012 06:01

Alas, gone are the days when pure sugar rocked, eh? I have to admit, though, I wouldn't mind buying some to make a cute vinette or two. And I'm happy to hear you've mananged to avoid the candy I posted so far. I'm crossing my fingers for you this year!

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Marta link
04/06/2012 07:10

Haha the irony, I was just looking at inappropriate pictures with peeps :D

The usual ones here in Portugal are the chocolate eggs and the almonds, both with and without the almond inside. I'm already too old to get candy though :P

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Mom link
04/07/2012 14:30

Too old for candy? NEVER!!

Sounds like Portugal has a whole lotta almond going on. Not a bad thing. As long as they're not jordan almonds. Those things are terrible. Almonds with chocolate, though? Excellent.

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Deray
04/06/2012 16:26

I did not know what exactly were Cadbury eggs until now o_0...that looks just wrong!

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Mom link
04/07/2012 14:33

I am so sorry I introduced Cadbury eggs to you, Deray. Please forgive me.

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PBScott link
04/08/2012 05:12

Nice article, I actually love Cadbury's Eggs though, I think they are one of the easter bunnies greatest creations.

Whats with the blood on the zombies bunnies backside? Did zombie bunny have an accident? I don't think I could eat that.

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Mom link
04/08/2012 05:46

A Cadbury lover. They've been around for decades, so you can't be the only one! And that zombie bunny? It's funny, but I agree. Much too creepy to eat.

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Cher Duncombe link
04/08/2012 11:24

I totally hate those yellow marshmallow chicks! Talk about a sugar high. But, I do love the Cadbury eggs and would steal them from a child if I could. :)

Herbie Easder, Janene. :)

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Mom link
04/08/2012 11:33

Wow! Another Cadbury egg lover. I guess there are stranger things in the world. Herbie Easder to you, too, Cher. I hope you're able to find some eggs to steal! ;)

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Dan LaFollette link
04/08/2012 12:53

I've seen Peeps that were left out kill ants that came to feast on them. Really they should be in the pesticide aisle of the store.

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Mom link
04/08/2012 13:01

Oh, man. That is NOT good!

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Tricia link
04/08/2012 17:58

I've never seen the Jesus suckers before - that's kinda heavy for a lollipop.

Peeps make good dioramas. That's about it. :)

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Mom link
04/09/2012 03:44

What? You don't think lollipop wrappers are a suitable place to bring up original sin? :) As for the Peeps, I looked up a few dioramas on line. Some are pretty awesome and I'm sure they last forever.

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