It happened again. One of my pleasantly perfect friends just posted a Facebook status (not evenly remotely) similar to this:
That’s right. She was fake flaunting her magnificent culinary skills, an area in which I’m sadly lacking. You see, as a mom, I have a terrible inferiority complex. I'm always worried I don't measure up. I don't want to be one of those women who bring home the bacon and fry in up in the pan. I want to one of those women who bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, then crumble it into a savory bolognese sauce and serve it over pasta al dente.
Sadly, I am not one of those women. Still, I try my best. Take last night’s dinner. I think I fared pretty well....
For my husband, I went all out and served him Banquet’s salisbury steak meal.
Ahhh. There’s nothing like errant corn nibblets swimming in brown gravy to get the salivary glands going. Notice the potatoes, effortlessly stirred to make them extra fluffy. And that green stuff on the plate below the tray? A sprig of parsley, just like they do in fancy restaurants. Okay, so it’s tarragon. I didn’t have parsley. And yes, it’s just dried leaves out of a McCormicks bottle. But I made the effort so I demand some credit. Would anyone else ever think to do that?
Don’t answer that. Instead, take a look at the beverage so beautifully positioned by the plate. I could have made lemonade from scratch, but that would have denied my husband his daily requirement of Yellow dye #5. Instead, I went with Kool Aid lemonade -- made with an extra pinch of sugar because I’m sweet. Not only that, I served it up in a wine glass. Because I’m classy.
Since my kids rarely like the same thing that my husband and I do, I went a little crazy and microwaved something different for them: Banquet chicken pot pies.
Here's a sample. You may not be able to tell, but I went the extra mile and created a smilie face on the crust by poking holes on it with a fork. Yeah, that’s me. Just adding a little extra magic to the experience. And, yes, after I microwaved it the face did look like it threw up a little bit, but I think my kids still appreciated the effort.
Scooby Doo fruit snacks were added a a side dish to fulfill their vitamin C requirement. As for veggies? No worries. Carrot cubes and peas were already in the pie -- so much nutrition in one place! Of course, I served up more Yellow Dye #5 in Olive Garden kiddie cups. Nothing like a touch of whimsy to make the dining experience special.
So there you have it: family dinner made with a touch of Mom’s love. Please hold your applause until this post is over, which is now.
I’m taking a bow.