There is nothing more disturbing than witnessing a footwear atrocity first-hand. Okay, that's not true, but let's pretend.
The facts:
Last week I found myself in the Kohl's shoe department. I say 'found' because I can't remember why I was there and, trust me, when I go to Kohl's for footwear there is always a reason. Ferragamo? The back clearance room in Von Mauer? Those trips are pure recreation. When I go to Kohl's for shoes, I go with a purpose. That's just the way I roll.
Anyway, I'm in the Kohl's shoe department and I see them: a certain style of sandal (extra points for alliteration) that had been unleashed on the world last year. They were ridiculous. I thought they would be in and out of fashion in less than a humminbird heartbeat. Yet, here they were for season two and they had multiplied. A full row of different variations was dedicated to this style. That's part one.
Part two happened this past Monday. I was back in Kohl's shoe department due to a shoe emergency that has no bearing on this story. Plus it might make one of my family members mad so my lips are sealed. Anyway, remembering the row of ridiculous sandals I brought my camera, thinking it would be fun to take a picture of it and write a post. Well, guess what. Only one style still remained on the display shelf. Below it looked like this: That's right. Only two boxes remained.
From the photo above, I'm not sure if you can appreciate the full glory of this sandal so here's a close up: Seriously?
What am I not seeing here? Is there some chilly ankle epidemic I'm not aware of? A sudden fancy for cankles? I can't remember the last summer day when I said, "My toes are so hot but my ankles are so cold! Why don't they have sandals for that?"
Maybe I'm just out of touch, but those things look incredibly silly. Am I alone here, or are you with me?
Tell me, what do you think?
So it’s Friday morning, the day right after I posted ‘Back in the Day: Shoes.’ I’m on such a high I decide to dive right into researching the expected sequel, ‘Through the Ages: Shoes.’ I’m so excited…I can’t wait!Sound good? Sound realistic? Of course not cuz it’s a big fat lie. Start again:It’s Wednesday, the day before I normally post. I haven’t lifted a finger and I’m like freakin’ out, man! This isn’t a silly post I can just slap together. I’ve got a lot of work to do. As soon as I drop off the kids at school I decide to dedicate my day to intensive shoe research (Please don’t tell my husband. He would NOT be pleased.)So I get back home and start researching. Typically, I go to a ton of websites and do some pretty exhaustive poking and digging. Seriously. That’s just the way I roll. My readers deserve the best. J But not this time. This time I land on a pretty cool website ( http://www.centuryinshoes.com/ ) that has just the right amount of info, pictures - everything I need to produce a great post. Well, darlin', I ain’t no fool. I take a look at this site and think, “Why should I bust my butt recreating something that’s already out there?” Short answer: I shouldn’t. At the same time, I wasn’t quite ready to relinquish one of my favorite topics. Therefore I bring you….THROUGH THE AGES: ShoesThe Signature Shoe of Each Decade As decided by a committee of one (me), the following shoes have been deemed the signature shoe for each respective decade. They’re not necessarily the most popular styles, just the most remembered. As always, if you think I’ve blown it, feel free to chime in with a comment. Unlike my rule at home, what I say doesn’t always go. Let’s start with the Fifties:  for a true Fifties photo add bobby socks 1950s - The Saddle Shoe
When you think of the Fifties, what comes to mind? Poodle skirts, cardigan sweaters and saddle shoes. These black and white leather shoes were the equivalent of the present day ‘just hanging out’ sneakers which, back then, were only found in the gym. With that being said, a small aside: I must pay homage to a shoe that debuted in the Fifties but still sends fashionistas into rapture: the stiletto. It took sex appeal (and bunions) to a whole new level.
 1960’s - Go Go Boots
Booys as everyday footwear? Seriously? Thanks to go go boots, yes. Before them, boots were only worn if you had a snow shovel or riding crop in your hand. Introduced in 1964, they really took the stage when Nancy Sinatra debuted her signature (and only) hit, These Boots Were Made for Walkin’, in 1966. Though they came in all colors and heights, the one ingrained in our collective memory are the white ones that hit below the knee. Made for walkin’, indeed.
 There's no place like the ER 1970s - Platform Shoes
Fashion in the Seventies reached new heights with these puppies -- four inches or higher, to be exact. Platform shoes (and boots, and sandals) looked like any other footwear, only they had soles thicker than Jessica Simpson. Some styles looked pretty outlandish. Others looked pretty groovy. All looked pretty scary going up and down the stairs. Imagine the look on the Emergency Room nurse's face when the patient told them the reason they were there was because they fell of their shoes. Don’t laugh too hard. It happened.
 from simple beginnings.... 1980s - The Ballet Flat
Okay, back to the ground. While you’re there do a plie. That’s right, I’m giving this decade’s honor to the ballet flat. Everyone had a pair. No, they had seven pairs -- one for every color of the rainbow. They were so simple they went with everything, which is probably why we wore them with everything. They didn't all have bows. Many were plain but, never fear, there were plenty of silly do-dads we could clip on right where the bow should be if we wanted to add pizzazz. In an era when color-coordination was king, they came to our rescue. Bless them.
 1990s - Doc Martens
This was a toughie. The Nineties were so anti-fashion (Birkenstocks, anyone?). But that’s exactly why I went with a shoe just as rebellious. A favorite of grungers and punks, these clunky work boot/shoes made a statement: this is a no fashion zone. That meant, of course, they later became fashionable. Still, you’ve got to respect them.
 2000 - Flip Flops
Podiatrists rejoice! Thanks to flip flops’ poor arch support, they’ll be in business for a long time to come. Still, you gotta love these free n’ easy slip-ons. When I was a teen we just had the classic model - rubber soles with oh-so-painful hard plastic straps that hurt between the toes. We called them ‘thongs’ and only wore them to the beach (imagine that, thongs at the beach!) But during the 2000s they evolved into something more -- everyday footwear. The colors, the materials, the embellishments…you can dress them up or dress them down. The possibilities are endless. How long they’ll last, no one knows but they’ve sure made their mark.
So ends my tribute to footwear. I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride. I’m always interested in what you think so tell me, how did I do? Don’t feel bad if you don’t agree. If I don’t like what you have to say I’ll just go shoe shopping. That always makes me feel better.
This post is on something very close to my heart. I think about it, dream about it -- it permeates my existence. I’m talking, of course, about shoes. They make life worth living. Sure, there’s the whole ‘great family, nice house, wonderful friends’ thing, too. Whatever. The word ‘shoes’ puts me on a whole other plane. With that, allow me to present…
BACK IN THE DAY
Shoes: That’s all I need to say. Shoes.
When it comes to my shoe obsession, I know I’m not alone. How else did the Beatles song, “All You Need is Shoes,” became such a classic? Women love shoes. It’s in our DNA. Sure, we can’t all afford to be all ‘Sex and the City’ and fill our closet with $900 Manolo Blahniks, but the clearance section at TJMaxx? Watch out.
To understand my own personal relationship with shoes, you need to go back to my teenage years in the Eighties (surprise!). During that time I loved trolling the malls. All the clothes, all the purses, all the shoes! Problem was, I got stares wherever I went. Was I a great beauty? No. A freak of some sort? Well, yes, but that’s not the point. People stared at me because I was incredibly tall. I say incredibly, people!!
I was, and still am, 5’11”.
I know, I know. That’s not gargantuan anymore. What historians say is true: the general population has grown taller with each generation. People keep getting bigger. As a matter of fact, Xerxes the Great stood only five inches tall. His chariot was actually a Rice-A-Roni box with bottle caps for wheels. True story!
Okay, so maybe I’m not that strong in history but I speak the truth when I say that whenever I walked somewhere alone, particularly in heels, at least one three year-old girl would yank on her mommy’s sleeve and point. Part of me thought it was cool. Another part thought it sucked. You know the whole ‘gotta blend in instead of stand out’ part? Anyway, that part won out and I gave up shoes that had any sort of heel.  Though classic pumps were popular then, a lot of girls wore flats. They came in every color imaginable so if you wore a red shirt, you could wear red flats. If you wore a pink shirt, you could wear pink flats. Color coordination was highly prized.
 There were also Sperry top-siders, a.k.a. boat shoes, which went with the whole nautical/preppy phase. Everyone had to look like they’d just stepped a schooner.
 When it was rainy (or not) we wore duck shoes, these incredibly bulky rubber things that weighed an absolute ton. Still, they did keep our feet dry.
 I can’t forget Dr. Scholl’s Exercise Sandals (later to be ripped off by Candies). Featuring hard wooden soles, they hurt like blankety-blank if you landed on them wrong. Wooden-soled clogs made an appearance, too.
 When it came to gym shoes, Nike and Adidas were in a heated market share battle, though plain white Keds (as well as red Keds, blue Keds, green Keds etc.), Tretorn, and K-Swiss had their followers, too.
 The goofiest trend had to be jelly shoes. Made of PVC plastic, this mid-Eighties fad came in all sorts of colors and styles. They really made your feet sweat, so they died out quickly.
Back to the most important part of this post: me. J So there I was, lost in a sea of flat footwear. When I got my first job out of college, I went to work every day wearing low rise pumps. Fashionistas would have been appalled, but my passion for shoes had long since waned.
Then I saw them. Black leather stilettos with the coolest gold buckle and two and a half inch heels. I know, not a lot of 'wow' factor, but that was part of their charm. They were the Michael Cera of shoes: cute in their own way with just enough star quality to put a sparkle in your eye yet leave you with a feeling of accessibility. My guard immediately went down. “I can wear these, can't I?” I said to myself. “After all, it’s only one pair.”
When I wore them to work the next day, my boss looked at me and smiled. “Great!” she said. “You’re wearing big girl shoes now.” That’s when the big shift inside took place. I was a big girl. I didn’t care if I stood out anymore. I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!
I spent $400 on shoes that weekend. In today’s dollars, that would be at least $8000. (Okay, so not very good at math either.) Anyway, it felt wonderful and I never looked back. Today I wear heels with pride. Not that I wear them all that much -- my knees are shot and Merrells are so comfy -- but when the mood strikes me I’ll strap on a pair.
And dahling, when I do I feel mahvelous!
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