As a blogger, I get to see the search terms people type into Google before finding their way here. Every month, right at the top of the list it’s always “what color season am i.
" I get it. If you want to look good it's something you need to know. What I don't understand is the search term that always takes second place:big time rush heights
That’s right. Legions of people come here wanting to know how tall the members in that boy band are, and Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos are all included on my page, How Tall is Your Celebrity Crush
I wanted to do something to thank these people Yep. I'm a giver. At the same time I had a strong desire to totally goof off. What's a woman to do? I decided to download head shots of all four members of the band. Then I uploaded them at morphthing.com
. and morphed them into various combos. Here's the silly slideshow that resulted:
Now I couldn't just ignore fans of other celebrities. Take the Twilight folks. They need love, too. So I went ahead and morphed Rob Pattison and Taylor Lautner. Not a bad combination.
Rob Pattison and Taylor Lautner
And of course, I can't for get the Beliebers out there. Here's Justin Bieber morphed with Selena Gomez.
Justln Bieber and Selena Gomez
Moms also drop in quite a bit. For them I morphed Brad Pitt with George Clooney.
Brad Pitt and George Clooney
And for the guys, I found the Megan Fox/Jessica Alba mash up quite appealing.
Megan Fox and Jessica Alba
Since President's Day is coming up, I uploaded pictures of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln and morphed them, too.
George Washington and Abraham Lincoln
And finally, just because I could, I morphed Kim Kardashian with Gollum from The Lord of the Rings:
Kim Kardashian and Gollum
As for the combo at the top? It's Madonna and Lady Gaga. Did you get that right? If so, treat yourself to a lollipop and a big 'ole bag of Cheetos.
Okay, the original title of this piece was “Selena Gomez Must Die” but I changed it for two reasons:
1) I agree we should tone down inflammatory language. It’s not nice and psychos might take our words literally.
2) When it comes to psychos, Justin Bieber fans top the list.
Okay, okay. Not all Justin Bieber fans are lunatics, but some? Off the charts. Just look at these tweets Selena Gomez received after word spread she was dating him:
“I’ll kill you I swear on GOD!!!”
“If you are the Girlfriend of Justin I will Kill you I HATE YOU :@ !!!”
“wh*re cancer wh*re…like i’m kill myself cuz I saw you and Justin kissing well thank you Selena thankyou now i’m killing myself”
“stay away from Justin pedophile, retard wait i’m gonna kill ya in the night underneath your smelly bed”
Ain’t they sweet? I bet Justin would dump Selena in a heartbeat if he knew he had a chance with one of those pretty, pretty princesses.
Sure, there were other girls who told her ‘good for you’ and ‘those girls are sick,’ but they don’t concern me. They're sane. The haters, however? They need a good talking to. If you're one of them, read on....
First of all, knock it off. You're acting like a moron. It's embarrassing. Not only do other girls think your crazy, guys think you're REALLY crazy. Think they want to be with someone who goes ape crap over stuff like this? Kiss those potential dates goodbye. And by the way, while were on the subject of dating, I hate to break it to you but you’ve got no friggin’ chance with the Biebs. Not even one.
Now don't start arguing with me. I know all about the movie where that superstar singer drops his phone, a regular girl finds it then, after many touching and comedic moments, the two end as close friends. There's that other one, too, where the superstar singer accidentally hits a regular girl on the head, takes her to the hospital, blah, blah, blah, similar ending there, too. Of course, this 'evidence' suggests it could happen to you, right?
Wrong. We're talking about movies, remember? As in NOT REAL?
You know, movies are a mixed blessing. They allow us to escape, to believe that the good guy always wins, gets the girl/boy in the end, etc. even though it's not always (rarely?) true. Fantasizing about meeting the man -- or petite pop star -- of our dreams is kind of the same. It's like creating our own mini-movie in our minds. Most of us know life won't really play out that way. It's just a fun diversion. Others, however, need a wake-up call.
So here is yours: WAKE UP.
You're making a fool out of yourself, acting all mentally imbalanced and what not. Cut it out.
I mean it.
You can go now.
Dang, what's it going to take to make you leave? Another Justin Bieber photo?
Fine. (Jeez, you really ARE nuts....)