Wow! My mailbag has been simply over-flowing with fake letters. Therefore I bring you…

DEAR MAKE-BELIEVE MOM #2

Dear Mom,

I’m totally in love with this really great guy. He is everything I want and he says the same about me. So what’s the problem? I met him on the internet. I really want to meet him in person and he wants to meet me, too, but he insists on doing it in an out-of-the-way place without anyone else around. He’s said it’ll be more romantic that way, but I’m a little nervous. What should I do?  -  In Heaven on the Internet Highway


Dear Heaven,
First of all, congratulations! Second of all, RUN! This guy is totally bad news.

Now I’m not saying this because you met him on the internet. After all, only 99.9% of guys you meet there are serial rapists and/or killers. There’s always that .01%. But trust me, if he’s really that awesome and thinks you two are meant to be, he should have NO problem meeting you in a controlled environment with your parents present. If he makes excuses like “I’m afraid your folks won’t like me, and if I lose you…” or “I want our first meeting to be special, I can meet them next time” then drop him like a hot tamale. Other danger words? “No one understands me like you.” No-one = his parole officer, wife or state-appointed psychiatrist. There’s also “We have a forbidden love. People just won’t understand ‘us.’” He means local, state, or federal judges.

Now if buckles and says he’ll meet you with your parents at your house, don’t take the bait. He just wants your home address. If you give it to him, he’ll more than likely find his way there when your parents are conveniently absent. And that would be bad, very bad.

Trust me on this.  I’ve seen and heard too many bad things on the news already. Don’t be a statistic. Be smart.

Mom says: Looking for love on the internet? CLICK HERE 
for a special PRINT AND POST!
Dear Mom,
My mom started this website/blog for teen girls and it is totally ridiculous. She’s constantly saying stupid things and giving stupid advice and everyone knows it’s MY MOM. Why in the world is she doing this? Does she really think she’s that cool? Talk about delusional. Personally, I think she’s just trying to embarrass me. Tell me, what should I do? - Mad at my Mom


Dear Mad,
Now, now. I’m sure everyone has been embarrassed by their parents at some point in their life. I know I have. But I’ve got to be honest with you – your mom sounds like one hip n’ happenin’ lady. If I were you, I’d be proud. And trust me, if she really wanted to embarrass you, creating a website would be the last thing she’d do.
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She'd probably just post an old picture of you passed out on the couch after a late-night Carnation Instant Formula binge. Now THAT would be embarrassing. My advice? Suck it up and see your mother for the truly awesome person she is. Make sure to tell her so.