Halloween costumes sure have changed over the years. In the Seventies, they were far less cool and far less money than the ones we have today. Back then, they consisted of two things: a thin, molded plastic mask and an even thinner fabric jumpsuit with the character’s body imprinted on it.
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The seller wanted $791.99. Seriously.
They came in a box and cost $3.99. I found this picture on Ebay to give you an idea. Makes you want to rock n’ roll all night, huh?

I can still remember wearing them while trick-or-treating, particularly the masks. Seeing out of the eye holes was such a challenge (I’m surprised more kids didn’t stumble into the street and get hit by cars), plus my face would start feeling sweaty and gross as soon as I put one on. The end of the night was the best part, though, because the thin rubberband that kept it strapped to my head never failed to get horribly tangled in my hair.

Ahhh, the memories. Why don’t they have masks like that anymore?

Alas, now I am a grown up and buying costumes for my own kids. It’s been fun.  That is, of course, until recently when my daughter became a teen.  I have to say, it’s quite an experience and I can’t say it’s been pleasurable.

This year my daughter is volunteering at our family museum’s Halloween party, so she needs a costume. Last week we decided to go shopping for it.

Oh. My. Lord.

The women’s costumes are NOT the same as the girl’s. Not that I didn’t expect to see some of the sexy standards. You know, the slutty nurse, et al. But a slutty Dorothy from ‘The Wizard of Oz?’ Since when did she wear a blue gingham mini-skirt and above-the-knee schoolgirl porn stockings? And those red sequined stilettos? Tell me, what’s next? Hermione Granger with a belly shirt and garter belt?

The entire section was filled with ‘check these puppies out’ necklines, ‘don’t bend over’ skirts, and -- dang! --  so many fishnet stockings I was tempted to string them together and go angling for tuna.

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This bee can buzz off.
Luckily, we got our hands on the last remaining G-rated costume: a 1950s girl in a poodle skirt. Did you hear me, Big Box Mart? THE LAST ONE. Isn’t that telling you something?

Most girls graduate from kids’ clothes to women’s in junior high. By then I know they are long past dressing like Dora the Explorer, but no mother in their right mind is going to buy, much less allow, their daughter to strut around in a sassy “Major Trouble” soldier’s costume that won’t let her sit down without showing her hooha. (Or is that ‘hooah?’ Sorry, Army joke.)

Anyway, I’ve said my piece. Do I sound like a real prude? Tell me what you think and have a
Happy Halloween!  


 

Bee photo from:  DivineLegs000's photostream on Flickr