I thought it would be cool to have a post dated February 29th, but not cool enough to devote any time to it. So it is in this spirit that I present a few things that popped into my head last night:
Am I a bad mom because I don’t inspect my kids’ posteriors for toilet paper residue? I mean, that mama bear on those Charmin commercials really makes a big deal out of it. My mom never checked my butt and, quite frankly, I’m thankful. But perhaps this indicates some sort of cycle of neglect that, as an enlightened parent, I should rectify. The fact that ‘rectify’ sounds a lot like ‘rectum’ only adds to my puzzlement.
Those Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercials with the pieces of cereal eating each other is just plain creepy. It’s cannibalism for God’s sake.
I feel sorry for pails. Unless you’re building a sandcastle, you never ask for a pail. You always go for a bucket. It always rains in buckets. If you’re loaded, you’ve got buckets of money. When you die, you don't kick the pail. Alas, to always be considered the wimpy, effeminate cousin of the bucket. Poor pails.
I wonder who came up with the idea of fork-splitting English muffins. The whole concept seems unusual to me. Also, the concept of forking a muffin sounds more than a little dirty to me.
Anyway, my ten minutes is up. To make this post somewhat leap year-y, I will end with a freaky photo of a frog cake. The alliteration is just a bonus. Your welcome.
Davy Jones (1945-2012)
Since we're close to the new year, I thought I'd give you a little motherly advice to carry you into 2011.
Okay, where to start...
- Never eat a hot dog from a quickie mart. Ever.
- If you have trouble figuring things out the first time, don't skydive.
- That bit about wearing clean underwear just in case you get into an accident? It really is a good idea. (Don't ask how I know this, just trust me.)
- The only thing to fear is fear itself...and creepy guys that hang out at the mall...and green lunch meat...and sheer mountain drop offs...and -- Oh, for crying out loud! Who made up that crappy saying? There is PLENTY to fear so always keep your eyes open.
Sorry guys, that's all I've got for now. I promise to post more later. To round things out, how about a sickeningly sweet sentiment accompanied by super cute animal photos? Yes, I know. It's not my style, but I've had fluffy puppies on the brain all week and I need to purge. Be warned, though, the following message has so much sugar it may induce your gag reflex. Grab your barf bag and let's go!
UPDATE: Okay, here's the deal. The original post did have a super syrupy little story accompanied by cute animal photos. At the time, the photos used were all listed as 'free-use.' Well, lo and behold, one of the 'free-use' photos I used was just spotted on a greeting card. Looks like the photographer, unbeknowst to me, cashed in and sold the dang thing. Good for the photographer. Bad for me. Truth be told, I kinda freaked out. So I decided to go back and scrap the story. Tragic, I know., but I had to. But never fear, if you came here for cute animal photos I will not disappoint. Below, please find some Creative Commons photos of little cutie patooties. That's right. I'm not just looking out for me, but for you, too. **HUGS**