It’s been quite the incredible week for me: my husband came home from Iraq (woo hoo!), the kids had their last week of school (so cool!), and NetFlix finally delivered season #1 of Glee (YIPEE YAHOO HOORAY!!) Yep, I am a fan.
Sure, the plotlines can be a little outlandish and the characters are over the top, but what did you expect? In real life, teens who break into song usually ride the short bus.
I have to admit, though, one of my favorite things (besides raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens) is seeing the shock on teens’ faces when they discover their new favorite song from the show was actually written in 1981. I feel cooler than I actually am.
The epitome of 80s cool?
Still, I must say enough is enough. As one friend said, “I’m ready to Stop Believin’.” That’s right, you heard me. The classic 1981 single, ‘Don’t Stop Believin’,’ made famous by Journey? The one Glee brought to the forefront again? Frankly, I’m ready to put it to rest. I heard it too much the first time. So stop.Okay, okay. I hear boos from the crowd. But this is my blog, not steveperryfans.com. I have a right to my opinion. I wasn’t a huge Journey fan back then, and I’m not a big one right now. Not that they weren’t (aren’t?) good, they just weren’t really my thing. So as sweet as it is seeing a bunch of elementary school children singing the song during music class (I had to sing “I Write the Songs” by Barry Manilow. Ugh.) I kind of wish it had been another song. Something that spoke to me. Like maybe ‘I Melt with You’ by Modern English, or the Cure’s ‘Just Like Heaven.’ Of course, anything by The Greatest Band of All Time – I’m speaking, of course, about U2 – would have been great. Even something by Michael Jackson. He wrote a lot of cool songs even after he became white.
So it is with great hubris that I list my Top 17 Favorite Songs as a Teen. They might not be the same as your parents’ -- you’ll find no country and just one with synthetic rock (not a fan, but one was too cool to pass up). And, sadly, I have no Madonna. (It was a tough call, I must say. The original Lady Gaga knew how to rock a cone-shaped bra.) Still, we’re all individuals aren’t we? One song list can’t define our generation, just like one can’t define yours.
A note before I start: Just like there’s no way I could list my children in order of favorites, I couldn’t bring myself to do it with my music. Therefore, they are listed in alphabetical order. And, yes, that sounds as pathetic as it is.
So here they are:
My TOP 17 FAVORITE SONGS AS A TEEN
Plus…The entire Thriller Album by Michael Jackson and, I repeat, EVERYTHING by U2. Except for ‘Lemon’ and that whole MacPhisto thing. That was stupid.
- ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ by Simple Minds
- ‘Everybody Hurts’ by R.E.M.
- ‘Fight for Your Right (to Party)’ by The Beastie Boys
- ‘I Love Rock and Roll’ by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
- ‘Just Like Heaven’ by The Cure
- ‘Kiss’ by Prince
- ‘My Perogative’ by Bobby Brown
- ‘Rhythm Nation 1814’ by Janet Jackson
- ‘Sweet Child of Mine’ by Guns N’ Roses
- ‘Take My Breath Away’ by Berlin
- ‘The Boys of Summer’ by Don Henley
- ‘Under Pressure’ by David Bowie/Queen
- ‘Walk This Way’ by Aerosmith w/ Run DMC
- ‘We Will Rock You’ by Queen
- ‘What I Like About You’ by The Romantics
- ‘Wild Thing’ by Tone Loc
- ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ by AC/DC
So there you have it. Think I’m a dork? Well, I don’t care. Know why? Cuz I heard you were singing ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ in the shower.
journey image link
WARNING: The mama bear in me is about to come out....
Scandalous outfits…provocative dancing...
No, I’m not talking about the recent Miss USA Pageant. You know, the one with the “tasteful’ lingerie photo shoots and (surprise, surprise) subsequent pole-dancing debacle. I mean, come on. When’s the last time a Miss USA was caught up in a sexy photo scandal? Oh, that’s right. LAST year.
How regal of you, Miss USA
So why, might you ask, are stories like this becoming more common? I gotta say cell phones, with all their photo/video/straight-to-YouTube capabilities, sure haven’t helped. Thankfully, they didn’t have them when I was your age. Not that I did anything wrong, but I recall a few times when friends of mine engaged in stupid behavior that, had they been recorded, may have come back to haunt them as adults. Just sayin’. As for kids today? You might be surprised by the size of your digital footprint. All those videos and photos being taken while you’re goofing around with your friends? They don’t just disappear as soon as you hit the delete button. They’re out there…somewhere… just ready to be plucked from the grid when you least suspect it.Now I don’t mean to scare you. Scratch that. I do. But I do it with love. I don’t want you to be sitting in an office somewhere, gunning for your first ‘real’ job, only to have some interviewer pull out a picture of you straddling a mechanical bull suggestively in cut-off jeans and a ‘Grab ME by the Horns’ t-shirt. That would be bad.So be cautious, my dears. Be very cautious. I’m not saying don’t have fun, just don’t have too much fun when a camera’s pointed your way. Which leads me back to the beginning of this post. Remember? Scandalous outfits and provocative dancing?The place: Pomona, CaliforniaThe date: April 10, 2010The event: The World Dance competitionOriginally posted on YouTube and pulled, I was able to find this video at the Huffington Post. To view it, click here.
Just in case the video gets pulled again, I’ve posted a photo taken during this hot mess. What you're looking at is a group of seven year-old girls dancing suggestively to Beyonce's "Put a Ring On It.' That's right. Just seven years-old and their self-worth is already being tied to their sexuality. How sweet.
What’s next, lingerie photos shoots and pole-dancing?
And here’s what really gets me: The girls danced well -- incredibly well. Dare I say they rocked? Only I didn’t see that. All I saw were a bunch of little girls shaking their boom booms in sexy costumes. Their value as dancers? Suddenly devalued. Devalued like the girl who busted her butt in college to get a 3.5 GPA, only to be told she wasn’t qualified to work for Acme, Inc. due to…ahem, unbecoming photos taken during Spring Break ‘09.
So be careful out there, girls. Be very careful. Trust me, #1 on the Top Ten Things That Have Never Been Said list is: “I’m so glad I made that ‘Girls Gone Wild’ video!” Plus, if I ever see you in one, you’re going to get a SERIOUS time out.
Big Brother’s out there and he’s armed with an ITouch.
Man, is she a scream. Back in the day, my folks used to watch her on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” every Saturday night. Yep, EVERY Saturday night. That meant if they were going out that night, they waited until the show was over. DVRs? Didn’t exist. Heck, there weren’t even VCRs yet. If you wanted to see a TV show, you had to watch it when it aired or hope to catch it during summer re-runs. My parents refused to take that risk.
Needless to say, she was hysterical then and is hysterical now. So when I saw that she was hosting Saturday Night Live last week I was tickled. I wasn't disappointed either -- nothing like watching an 88 -1/2 year-old yell “Wizard of A**!” on TV. Still, something she said during the opening monlogue deeply disturbed me. She said that Facebook, the online social network that featured the ‘Betty White to Host SNL (please?)!’ page responsible for getting her the gig, sounded “like an incredible waste of time.” How dare you, Betty. HOW DARE YOU.Not only did she bite the hand that fed her, she paid little mind to the social vacuum that existed prior to such ground-breaking technological advancements as the cell phone and internet. Back in 'the day,' we had no texting or email, no tweets from Taylor Swift lamenting her Cinnabon obsession. And we had no Facebook. If a friend 'had the blues from watchin' the news,' we didn't hear about it unless we saw her the next day and she told us...in person. The dark ages, indeed.And now look where we are. Yep, I said 'we.' Facebook is no longer the happening thing for young folks alone. Even my mom has an account. This, of course, means Facebook is doomed to fail. It happens to all cool things adults discover. But right now it's hotter than a Katy Perry photo shoot. As a matter of fact, I just took a break and went on for a while. In less than a minute I’ve discovered that one friend is losing her voice, another “thinks that Robin Hood is going to be good,” and yet another won ten bucks playing Bunco last night. Without Facebook, I might never have known. And that would have been sad, so sad.
Now sure, instead of logging off after posting a few comments, I did click over to Bejeweled Blitz and ended up playing a few games. After that, I just had to take a quick peek at a cute video of a baby moose playing in a sprinkler. There might have been a few other things, too, but it was all done in the name of stress relief, NOT time wasting. The fact that the lawn didn't get mowed was purely coincidental. So take back your words, Betty White. Take them, stuff them in an envelope, and mail them to …no wait. That takes too long. Jeez, Betty. Can't you just post an apology on Facebook? It’s faster and easier. While you’re there, you can check out that article I posted earlier about that Iranian cleric who blamed world catastrophies on promiscous women. Plus Michelle could use your help in Mafia Wars, too. Oh! You should really take a look at all the messages you’ve gotten since SNL, too. Maybe respond to a few? And don’t forget to join my new group, ‘Why Toenails Suck,’and then check out Karen’s vacation photos. She just went to Cabo San Lucas. Did you see Jim’s string about the three-headed toad?Too funny! And then there’s this neat post on lligators I think you’d get a c=kick out of.
Ahhhh, Mother’s Day. It’s this Sunday, you know. I’ve gotten a lot of interesting gifts to commemorate the date. Let’s see…there was the dyed macaroni necklace (always a classic), dinner out at my favorite restaurant (Did you know it was Chuck E. Cheese? Neither did I.), and a marigold nestled in a hand-painted pot that had been kept ‘safely’ in a sealed paper bag for five days . Believe it or not, I loved them all. What can I say? I’m a mom and, therefore, a freak. Isn’t that what this website’s about?
Anyway, as my kids have grown older, my gifts have ‘grown up,’ too. Case in point: my favorite restaurant isn’t Chuck E. Cheese anymore, it’s the Incredible Pizza Company. Also, the kids have learned that as beautiful and valuable as gold glitter is, a cuss word might slip out if Mommy opens up an envelope filled with it while standing on the living room carpet. Then, of course, there’s my daughter. As a teenaged girl she knows my true desire. Why? Because she wants the same thing: to be left alone.
Okay, I know that sounds un ‘mom’-like. Mothers love their kids. They want to be with them all the time, right? Well…
It’s not that I don’t have good kids. I do. It’s just that they…well…they act like kids. Okay, I’m digging myself into a hole here so I’d better explain. For Mother’s Day, what I’d really love is…
- No groaning. When I ask someone to take out the garbage I want to hear, “No problem.” I’ll consider words like, “You work so hard, it’s the least I can do,” as a bonus.
- No complaining. If someone’s tired of eating spaghetti again, today I’d like them to keep it to themselves. If going to Aunt Susan’s ‘totally ruins’ their weekend, they can tell it to their Twilight poster, not me.
- No fighting. If one sibling enters another sibling’s room without asking, just this once I’d like the sorely afflicted victim to refrain from chucking a Lady GaGa bobble-head at the perpetrator’s left temple. Is that so hard?
- No mess. Simply said, just pick it up. I’m tired of nagging on the subject. For one day I just want it done.
In other words, I just want peace. No need to add ‘and quiet.’ JUST GIVE ME PEACE. Is that so hard? Chances are that’s all your mom really wants for Mother’s Day, too. Oh, I forgot, she did say something about a cute Vera Bradley bag she spotted in the mall a few days ago. That’d also be nice.
Anyway, make sure to remember your mom on Mother’s Day. And regardless of what you give her, remember to add peace to the equation.
As for the remaining 364 days of the year? You have my permission to drive her crazy. J