A photo of me on stage. Promise. ;)
I’m sorry it’s been two weeks since my last post, but the gods have been against me. My hubby was gone, I went on a reading jag, plus couldn’t stop day-dreaming about winning The Voice
. (You should have heard my rendition of Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You
. I absolutely KILLED in that fantasy segment.)
Sure, there may have been a few other things, like my sister passing along the first season of the new Dr. Who*, forcing me into a wildly happy but comatose state in front of the television for a while, but outside of that I have been TOTALLY ON TASK.
Okay, so maybe there was that time I spent an inappropriately long time adding photos to my ‘Funny Celebrity Photos’ board on Pinterest
Get some class, yogurt!
And maybe I got a little too upset that yogurt, even though it’s supposed to be "cultured," always seems to spit in my face when I peel back the foil on the container. But I needed to take that rage and spend an hour composing a letter to Yoplait saying, "We put a man on the moon, for cripe’s sake. Can’t you tame yogurt!"
And sure, obsessing about the word "phlegm," and how it wins the trifecta for not only looking and sounding gross but also representing something gross, too, is not something normal people do for half a day, but that makes me unique, people. Roll with it.
Anyway, I’ve got to go now. I found yet another funny photo of Britney Spears -- man, that girl never ceases to disappoint -- and if I don’t add it to Pinterest right now the world will explode. Neither of us want that to happen. Bye!
* If you are aghast by my love of Dr. Who, you are not alone. It is pretty clear from my blog posts that I am one cool chick and in no way a geek. Seriously….okay, not seriously.
You are never going to believe what I just found out.
I'M FILTHY, STINKING RICH!
I found not one or two, but three separate credit card offers in my mailbox today! If I play things right, my spending power is about to increase three-fold! A world of riches will be mine, and the excitement doesn't even end there.
The credit company I do use just sent me an updated card as well. Along with it they sent me another completely different card. I didn't have to ask!
That’s right. I got an unsolicited American Express card. I thought it had to be a mistake. I'd never applied or even asked for one, but my credit card confirmed that it was mine. You see, they had been worried because my current card wasn’t accepted at Neiman Marcus. Such a travesty!
Alas, Neiman Marcus, with their upscale, over-priced clothes. That's my kind of shopping...except it isn't, really. In fact, I only have one thing in my closet from Neiman Marcus: a Marc Jacobs black fringed top I’d found double tagged on a clearance rack at Filene’s Basement.
Truth is, financially my family does okay because I don’t go credit card crazy. Credit cards can lure you into spending money, especially when you shouldn't.
I still remember back during my college days when a friend got her very first card. Her first bill was $34. She let it slide, rolling the bill to next month. Then she rolled it again. Six months later, finance charges and late fees turned that $34 into over $200. She nearly had a heart attack.
When it comes to credit cards, don't carry too many and do your best to pay them off every month. My rule is if I can’t pay for something straight out of my checking account, I can’t afford it on my credit card bill, either.
If you want a few more tips when it comes to credit cards, loans and money, take a peek below:
MOM'S MONEY TIPS
1. 'Special offers' aren't really special. If a company or salesman says you've been 'specially selected,’ don’t feel flattered. They just want your money. It’s called marketing.
2. ‘Low, easy payments’ are no deal. The lower your monthly payment, the more you pay in the end. Here's an example:
Say you take out a 6% loan for $5000.
- If you take out a 1 year loan, you’ll pay $430/month for 12 months. TOTAL: $5164.
- If you take out a 3 year loan, you’ll pay $152/month for 36 months. TOTAL: $5476.
- If you take out a 5 year loan, you’ll pay $97/month for 60 months. TOTAL: $5800.
3. Always ask yourself: Do you need it now, or can you wait? If you can wait, put that money in the bank until you’ve saved enough to buy it outright. For all you know, by that time you might not need or want it anymore.
4. Paying full retail price is for chumps. Wait until it’s on sale.
5. Cars are an expense, not an investment. Man, I've seen a lot of people become slaves to their car payments. Don't let that be you. Make sure buy a vehicle you can comfortably afford. Plus remember, its value decreases as as soon as you drive it off the dealer's lot.
6. It’s all about give and take. If you find something expensive that you absolutely must have, ask yourself what you’re willing to give up in order to get it.
7. The little things add up. A $3 cup of Starbucks coffee every morning = $90/month. Yowsers.
8. Time is money. If you make $8/hr and wait until those killer $60 jeans go on sale for $40, you're not just saving $20 but 2-1/2 hours of work.
That’s all I’ve got for now. Make me proud and spend your money wisely! And if you're wondering what happened to those offers and the American Express card, they're in the trash.
Ah, Easter candy -- a mother’s dream! Well, actually, it's more like a diabetic coma. That is, unless you love watching sugar-infused kids destroy your house, leaving smears of chocolate all along your walls.
Okay, so it’s not that bad, but some of the candy can be. Let's celebrate that now, shall we? Here’s a list of the worst Easter candy out there. Tell me if you agree...
I have to start with these unnaturally-colored hardened marshmallows encased in a sugary shell. Even the most hard-core fructose fans can’t stomach these. The only cool thing about them is their dress-up potential:
When I get a chocolate egg, nothing pleases me more than cracking it open and finding snot. Yum!
Really? I don’t CARE if they’ve been wrapped in pastel wrappers, they're still Tootsie Rolls! My kids still have some in the bottoms of their Halloween buckets. Enough!
Let’s be honest, the only place you see these are on your great grandma’s coffee table in a cut crystal bowl. They’ve been sitting there since last Easter and no one’s touched them yet. I dare you to eat one. I dare you!
Mmmm...teeth. What more can I say? It's such a savory concept. Don't they look appetizing? I can't wait to eat my baby chick beak gummmies next.
Silly me. Easter is all about Jesus, which means there’s no better time to remind children they were born in sin, don't you think? I thought so. Amen!
Chocolate-flavored Easter bunnies
Why have chocolate when you can have chocolate flavor instead? Seriously, what is this stuff made out of any way? Spend the extra 50 cents and get real chocolate, for cripes sake. To help you out, I’ve found two suitable choices:
Dude and the Zombie Bunny. I would so watch that movie.
So there are my picks. What's your least favorite Easter candy? Your favorite? Do tell!